Pearls of Wisdom: Dressing with Dignity in Dementia Care

Pearls of Wisdom: Dressing with Dignity in Dementia Care

Pearls of Wisdom: Dressing with Dignity in Dementia Care

dressing with dignity

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Key Takeaways

In this episode of Grannie’s Talkin’ Dementia, hosts Rayna Neises and Tonja Moon, in cahoots with The Grand Baby Projects, share insights into the whimsical yet profound wisdom relating to caregiving in dementia. The episode highlights the significance of National Wear Your Pearls Day, founded by DeAnna Heard, emphasizing resilience and the beauty that comes from adversity, much like how a pearl forms from a grain of sand. The hosts discuss the historical importance of pearls and their personal memories associated with them.

The conversation transitions into exploring the importance of clothing in caregiving, including adaptive clothing designed to make dressing easier and maintain dignity for individuals with dementia.

Additionally, the episode touches on dementia doll therapy and the role of adaptive clothing in enhancing comfort and independence for those with cognitive and physical challenges. Links to adaptive clothing resources and community engagement for sharing tips are encouraged.

00:29 National Wear Your Pearls Day

01:56 The History and Significance of Pearls

04:40 Personal Stories and Memories with Pearls

09:13 Dressing and Dementia Care

11:39 Challenges and Solutions in Dressing

14:31 Adaptive Clothing for Dementia

26:32 Engaging with Dementia Patients through Clothing

34:14 Final Thoughts and Blessings

Transcript
*Transcript is an actual recount of the live conversation

[00:00:00] Rayna Neises: Welcome to Granny’s Talkin’ Dementia. We’re your hosts, Rayna Neises

[00:00:06] Tonja Moon: Tonja Moon, and we’re in cahoots with The Grand Baby Projects.

[00:00:10] Rayna Neises: offering whimsical wisdom, inspiring support, and joyful engagement for everyone involved in the dementia care journey, whether you’re a family caregiver.

[00:00:19] Tonja Moon: or a professional in the field. Each episode is designed to uplift, educate, and empower you as we navigate this caregiving life

[00:00:28] Rayna Neises: Tonja did you know that it will be wear your pearls day on December 15th?

[00:00:35] Tonja Moon: What? I did not even know there was a such as Wear your pearls day./

[00:00:39] Rayna Neises: Isn’t that crazy? I love these national days. It gave us our theme for today’s episode. And it is all about what we wear, but wearing your pearls was a holiday that was founded by Deanna Burkert, who was very successful in the corporate work, but then she found something that was more important to her.

[00:00:58] And that was sharing her love of Jesus Christ and of her fellow man through inspirational speaking and writing. Literal pearls are not necessary to celebrate the day. Although it’s a lot of fun to wear pearls, at least I think it is. But really this day is about the adversity that we all go through in our lives, which doesn’t defeat us, but it makes us more valuable and more beautiful, just like the grain of sand that gets stuck in the oyster. And it causes that formation of that precious gem, the pearl. National Wear Your Pearls Day is the ideal time to assess yourself of what you are a resilient resourceful and beautiful human being.

[00:01:39] Tonja Moon: Well, I’d be darned. That’s crazy. You know, I just always associate pearls with, the older generation. Because I just can see my grandmother wearing her pearls. But so tell me a little bit more about this, this history. This is so interesting.

[00:01:56] Rayna Neises: So pearls were actually some of the oldest gems that have ever been discovered. They were revered for such a long time throughout written history. In fact, we know that pearls were worn for adornment for thousands of years. And just even fragments of pearls and jewelry with pearls in them have been found all the way back in 420 BC, which they’re also now on display, even in Paris and different places, but pearls were gifts to a Chinese royalty in the early 2300 BC, while in ancient Rome, pearl jewelry was also considered to be the ultimate status symbol. In fact, Julius Caesar passed a law limiting the wearing of pearls to only the ruling class. Isn’t that crazy?

[00:02:42] Tonja Moon: That is wild. That is so, yes. I mean, who knew that’s unbelievable. Okay. So, is like National Wear your Pearls Day, is it like, Just kind of a concept or do we really have to wear pearls that day? Like what’s the deal?

[00:03:02] Rayna Neises: that’s a great question. So I love the fact that, Deanna came up with the concept and definitely wear your pearls. I mean, come on, pull them out. Even I have some great, well, our grainy picture. I have those great big giant pearls on. I love pearls. I think they’re beautiful and definitely very classy.

[00:03:18] But National Wear Your Pearls Day doesn’t really require you to wear pearls. It’s more about the understanding and you don’t even have to have a religious affiliation. It’s just a day that set aside for you to really take a moment and look at your own life and recognize what it is that you’ve gone through in your life.

[00:03:35] That’s made you who you are. And if you have real pearls, I say go for it and go ahead and show them off.

[00:03:45] Tonja Moon: I mean, I don’t think that we, you know, when you really take a minute and sit back and think about how hard it is for a pearl to become a pearl, I mean, it would be interesting to see like how long that process is. I mean, I have no idea, but it’s gotta be pretty long.

[00:04:05] Rayna Neises: Well, and it’s that little sand that gets in there and it’s kind of the oyster’s way of protecting itself. So it’s that scar that then gets wrapped in the beauty of the way the pearl is formed as those layer after layer of them protecting themselves to that irritant.

[00:04:24] Tonja Moon: My gosh, that’s crazy. So just think of that little teeny tiny piece of sand. You know, and it reminds me of like the faith of a mustard seed, how tiny, how tiny, tiny, tiny. That is so amazing. You know, I’ve talked a lot about my grandmother and how she used to dress and she was always dressed head to toe. I mean, head to toe. Every Sunday she had a new outfit to go to church and that outfit typically had the hat, the new purse, the shoes, all the accessories that matched. And so she did, she loved her pearls. And I remember like, um, a pearl brooch, you know, you used to see women wear brooches all the time and it’s not that common anymore. But I remember seeing pearl brooches on lots of older women when I was a child going to church with my grandmother. Oh

[00:05:21] Rayna Neises: My mom had this three strands of real pearls necklace that we were having a dress up day at school for the 50s and she let me wear her pearls to school.

[00:05:34] Tonja Moon: my God. Wow.

[00:05:37] Rayna Neises: I lost them.

[00:05:39] Tonja Moon: You lost your pearls?

[00:05:40] Rayna Neises: You knew that was coming, didn’t You Yes.

[00:05:42] Tonja Moon: No, of course.

[00:05:43] Rayna Neises: Yep. I lost him.

[00:05:45] Tonja Moon: Oh,

[00:05:46] Rayna Neises: I will never forget that. I was so, she, I came home. I had no idea. I came home and she’s like, where’s the necklace? And I’m like, Oh,

[00:05:56] Tonja Moon: my goodness. Now. I do remember. I don’t, it must have been for an anniversary present or something. My dad got my mom, this beautiful string of pearls and, oh, my goodness. She just You know, treasured them but they were very much something that was kind of put away not to bother, not to touch. I mean they were like sacred. We’ve seen in fashion like sometimes you’ll see, um, pearls coming back in the winter when you’ll see things like adorned with pearls and sweaters and kind of stuff like that. But what an amazing, cool story That’s fascinating that it all starts with a little teeny tiny grain of sand and then it’s really unique, a unique day for us to step back and think about all that we’ve accomplished.

[00:06:39] I just, I love that. I love that.

[00:06:41] Rayna Neises: well, those little teeny tiny irritants that we experienced, especially as caregivers, we have to choose to allow the beautiful things to come out of those things. And I do think it comes from spending time to reflect and, and to really think about, all the blessings that we have, even in the middle of the heartache. I think this is an amazing holiday and I hope that everybody will celebrate with us on the 15th and wear their pearls. For

[00:07:07] Tonja Moon: you have to go on our Facebook page. Grady’s talking dementia and we need like everybody posting pictures of themselves wearing their pearls. I mean, how cool is that? And what a fun. story or conversation to sit and have with your loved one that is living with dementia and showing them pearls and maybe doing some reminiscence with them and just to get their reaction and see what they say. And wow, that, that could really, um, result in some, some really nice meaningful moments out there.

[00:07:47] Rayna Neises: sure. I agree.

[00:07:48] Now that you know all about National Wear Your Pearls Day. I know that you will join us on December 15th. Let’s take a break and learn more about our sponsors. We’ll be right back.

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[00:09:00] Rayna Neises (2): Welcome back. We’ve been talking about the amazing holiday of Wear Your Pearl’s Day. And how those pearls are so meaningful and they’ve been around for forever. We’re going to talk more about how dressing impacts those living with dementia.

[00:09:17] Rayna Neises: Everybody dresses differently in our generation we’re definitely not dressing up like your granny used to, and she was on her way to church. My dad definitely had a specific way that he liked to dress. One of the big things was he liked his blue jeans and his belts. He always had a belt on with his blue jeans and he always had everything tucked in. He wore an undershirt underneath everything, even when he went to play sports and things like that. But I think dressing can be one of those challenges that we deal with. How did you handle Nanny’s dressing when she was struggling more?

[00:09:54] Tonja Moon: You know, it was, It was really hard because, her last few years, she was in a, skilled nursing facility or community she was on the long term care hallway. She was so feisty before she got her dementia doll that, um, listen, just getting her dressed was an accomplishment. Who cared if it matched? But the thing that was so hard, it wasn’t so much the dressing her. It was, we were so grateful to get her dressed that what was lost was It was very hard for me and other, other people in our family to see her just disheveled and maybe not matching I remember even, even the last days to see her with, a stain or anything on her, her little nightgown. Oh my gosh, it would just break me into a million pieces because she would never, ever. Leave the house if there was something on her, like a stain or discoloration. I mean, that just no appearance was everything. And that was really, really, really hard that, that was, that was tough to see. So it was, you know, it was, of course, it’s always about maintaining her dignity or your, your the person that you’re caring for, but in so many ways, it’s, it was also like, oh, I just didn’t want to let her down. And if she knew that this is how she looked, she would be disappointed in me or us for allowing it to happen. And so you kind of have to get over that hump, obviously, because she was just in her own world.

[00:11:38] She was happy. She didn’t care. Um, but, but the dressing situation, the more that I, I work with people with dementia nowadays and work along with communities and things like that, it is a big, big, big problem and it is a big, huge challenge because, the people have to be up, they have to be dressed, they have to be dressed appropriately.

[00:12:01] At least in the senior care community world, it is part of a caregiver’s task to take the pajamas off and put on the clothes for the day. And, that is a big task, because if that person doesn’t want that, then, You’ve got a big challenge on your hands, a big, big challenge on your hands.

[00:12:19] And so you have this internal battle of, do I let them be happy or do I accomplish the task list, which says they have to be dressed for the day appropriately. Um, that’s, that’s real hard. I know that caregivers in senior care communities, really, really, that is a big, big challenge. Mornings are going to afternoons very quickly and very easily.

[00:12:41] Rayna Neises: One of the things that I thought was really important as we cared for my dad was really looking at how he did his routines. And I actually was talking to a lady that was talking about dressing her mom and trying to help. And she was putting the shirt over her mom’s head and then trying to direct her arm through one side and the other side.

[00:13:01] And she said one time she was a little late and her mom was a little more with it that day. And her mom put her own shirt on and she walked in the room while her mom was dressing herself. And she said, I’d never seen anybody do this before, but she stuck one arm in and then she put the hole of her head and then she stuck the other arm in.

[00:13:20] And she said, as soon as I started dressing her that way, letting her put one arm in, put it over her head and then put the other arm in, We didn’t fight over it. And so I think it’s so interesting because simple things like that, that’s our routine. That’s how we’re used to it. And when somebody else is trying to do it for us, yes, they’re, they’re trying to help, but when they’re trying to impose their way of doing it on us, then it becomes challenging.

[00:13:45] It’s really important to take a look at, you know, how do they put their pants on? And how do they, do they always sit down? Do they standup, you know, there’s just so much more to it than just putting clothes on. And so I think sometimes really studying the person that we’re taking care of and seeing how they do it for themselves can make such an impact. As that ability diminishes and they can’t do it for themselves. We’re just assisting versus taking over.

[00:14:11] Tonja Moon: right. And it is so easy just to take over

[00:14:14] Rayna Neises: It is, we think it is, but it really isn’t. It really, it’s really easier to, to do it with them than rather than do it to them to quote Teepa. I Teepa Snow always says want to do it with them not to them. And that really is a mindset shift that can make such a big difference. But another thing that I’ve found, we didn’t use this, but I’ve just been amazed at how much adaptive clothing has changed in the last few years. It’s amazing. Tonja, and I will explore how adaptive clothing has changed and how helpful it can be after this message from our sponsor.

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[00:16:30] Rayna Neises (2): So adaptive clothing, you know, most adaptive clothing came from adaptations from general market clothing, the comfort, which began to increase, in the 1950s with new technologies being brought into clothing, like elastic waistbands, and stretchy fabrics. Adaptive clothing is really been created to be utilized by people with all different kinds of disabilities from wheelchair usage, to people with visual disabilities, to those with disabilities that we can’t even see, but we, they still find themselves limited by the construction of typical clothes. So adaptive clothing, it’s such an interesting thing, and it really seems to be taking off and growing and improving in overall appearance these days.

[00:17:17] Tonja Moon: So let’s talk about that a little bit because that’s an area that I’m not familiar with in the world of dementia. I sometimes, see some things used when I’m out working with senior care communities, but I think that it’s becoming more and more prevalent, but I think that it’s also something that’s, that’s fairly new.

[00:17:37] And so, I’m glad that we’re having this conversation because it’s a great learning tool for me personally, because I, I was not when I thought when I think of adaptive clothing, my mind immediately goes to. Perhaps someone in a wheelchair or someone who has special needs in a different way beyond, cognitive needs. And so I’m, I’m excited that you brought that up because, that is just an area of dementia that I haven’t paid a lot of attention to, frankly.

[00:18:09] Rayna Neises: Well, I think it’s been growing and there’s such a need for it, but I love the way that , it’s growing into not those funny looking clothes, not that you would look at it and say, Oh, they look like they have a hospital gown on, which is kind of what it’s always looked like before. It was just open in the back, that kind of thing.

[00:18:26] But it’s actually turning into this whole great line of clothing for seniors. Otherwise maybe known as geriatric clothing. If you were Search for it, but it’s really all different kinds of apparel that have different closures, different things to consider mobility, sensitivity. If you have, compromise motor skills, physical disabilities, and then that cognitive side.

[00:18:49] So it definitely is starting to look at a lot more fashionable. It’s made to be more easily slipped on and slipped off, or Uh, on the other hand, some, people who have dementia have a tendency to want to take off their clothing. And so when they’re, fighting that, then it’s just fastened in a way that isn’t as easy for them to be able to access it to do that.

[00:19:11] So that helps to keep the clothing on, but it definitely can be fashionable as far as the patterns and all the things that they’re doing now. So many of them, when you look at them, you wouldn’t know that it was adaptive clothing, which I think is amazing.

[00:19:25] Tonja Moon: You know, interesting. I, I met with a gentleman a few weeks ago who, has a medical supply company and, but their focus is on urinary products and various catheters and different things like this. And he had mentioned that, they do make pants now for men and women where, if someone has a colostomy bag, for example, that it can be hidden and you wear these special pants and they’re just slacks and you wouldn’t know it.

[00:19:53] And I was like, oh, my gosh, are you kidding? I’ve never seen this, but I guess that’s the point, right? you would, you would see it and not see it. So, I mean, I think about what a difference that would have made during my time with Nanny and during my time of caring for her, just in my own kind of quote head and how I would have felt around her looking better and me not, you know, being so focused on the emotional part of it.

[00:20:24] So I think that it’s. Yeah, I mean, it’s time, right? I mean, it’s probably past nine, but it’s, it’s definitely an amazing, an amazing concept. So where, okay, so keep talking, but I want to know where you find this.

[00:20:39] Rayna Neises: so you can search, there’s all different companies out there and we will definitely add some links to our show notes page to some different companies that are offering some great lines. But I love to that part of what’s going into adaptive clothing is the thought of helping people stay independent. So when we’re looking at someone with dementia, getting some things that are easier to do. And I, Immediately thought of when I read that, I thought, Oh my gosh, there’s this amazing zipper that has a magnet at the bottom. So instead of having to thread that little part into the zipper and hold it down and zip it up, the magnet puts those two pieces together and then allows you just to zip it.

[00:21:18] The number of times that I had to chase my dad down and say, Oh dad, let me help you with that. Oh, it would have been amazing if he could have just continued to zip his own coat. That’s what he wanted to do. That’s what he tried to do. And he would get so frustrated with me whenever I would try to step in and take care of it because he just wanted to do it himself.

[00:21:36] Just some amazing things like that. So common things they’re finding, helping them to undress. Um, being able to have anti slip features, that are designed for difficult for the wear to take off in order to be able to, again, keep them from stripping when they shouldn’t, but the best example of an anti strip clothing is a fastener, that might be placed just in the back. So it’s not that they’re tied in, but just something that’s not easy for them to be able to take off. So it is amazing, they’re making them look like you said, normal, I guess is the right word we want to use, but at the same time having these adaptions as a part of

[00:22:19] Tonja Moon: Sure. Sure. Well, I mean, I would like the zipper magnet thing for myself because listen, as, as you, you know, if you wear glasses and bifocals, good Lord, I mean, everything just gets harder. So that, that is so cool. Okay. One thing that we always are concerned about, um, from a cost perspective, have you noticed that adaptive clothing is. In alignment with just normal, regular costs, or have you seen it’s a little bit more expensive? I mean, I guess just like anything else you’d have to shop right? Just shop around.

[00:22:59] Rayna Neises: Overall, they are more, especially ones that are more fashionable are more expensive. A good quality clothing is not cheap anyway, but it definitely is to get something that doesn’t just look like a hospital gown, The things like having tags on them or having grab loops to just pull the pants up and down can be really helpful. Again, you’re getting a little bit more cost in that. There are a variety of different cost points, but definitely. You’re looking at a little bit more of an investment than just heading to Walmart, that’s for sure.

[00:23:30] Tonja Moon: Sure. Sure. Huh? That’s amazing. That’s amazing. If you think about someone in a wheelchair who spends the majority of their time sitting, you know, it can just become very uncomfortable with their pants constantly sliding down onto their hips or whatever. Or, I just think of me if I’m driving a long distance or I’m in Houston. So if I just drive across Houston, that’s two hours and how uncomfortable you can get just sitting and driving. And so having, A nice pair of pants that are adjustable or that aren’t just so binding, I could see would make just a world of difference.

[00:24:09] Rayna Neises: They actually make pants that have a higher back to them. And so that they won’t slide down as easily. And we don’t have the, plumbers rear going on. Especially for those that are sitting a lot. So there’s ones that are made to just go up a little higher in order to make it more comfortable and to make that challenge not as difficult.

[00:24:30] The other thing that I love is the magnetic closures. They have amazing dress shirts or they look like button down shirts. They have a button on them, but instead of a button that they have to put, you know, weave through the little hole, it’s just a magnet. And so again, it can look really sharp

[00:24:48] Tonja Moon: Yeah.

[00:24:48] Rayna Neises: it being,

[00:24:50] Tonja Moon: And, you know, if you just think about that for a minute, think about the way that your dad would have felt and just the accomplishment of Zipping up that jacket or putting on that quote unquote button down shirt. I mean, what an amazing, amazing, accomplishment. Right.

[00:25:15] Rayna Neises: lives. Like you talked about Nanny and what she wore. We can look like ourselves, we feel better. People comment all the time that I look dressed up. It’s just me. This is what I wear every day. I don’t dress for anyone else. I dress for myself and this is what I’m comfortable in. So it’s not a sweats and a t shirt every day for me. I’m typically have a nice blouse on. That’s just how I like to wear. And so I hope that I will always get to choose and always get to wear what makes me feel like me. And for my dad, he worked in an office for years. He always wore a button down. He didn’t love a tie, but in his casual times, he wore a polo. So he was more likely to grab a polo than to wear just a t shirt when he was going out to dinner or something, but he was athletic. So he did enjoy t shirts and sweats when he was playing sports.

[00:26:05] So as his disease progressed, we ended up going to athletic clothing Pretty much all the time. So we didn’t have to change from the jeans and the polo to the athletic clothing to go to the gym or to go to play volleyball. But I think, again, just options give us all more opportunity to feel like ourselves and that gives us a better quality of life.

[00:26:28] Yeah.

[00:26:31] Tonja Moon: cool thing.

[00:26:31] So, you know, with the grand baby projects, our Dementia Doll Therapy programming, we use dressing and undressing. It is a major component of our entire program. So we hand select all of the clothing for our dementia therapy dolls. We select the clothing based on texture so that it can offer tactile stimulation.

[00:26:59] So things like sweaters, fleece, corduroy, even lace, anything that feels different brings comfort. One of the major exercises that we teach and we train caregivers to do is to dress one of the baby dolls in layers with different textures. And when your loved one is feeling agitated or sundowning or even lonesome and is trying to isolate, engage them to help you undress the baby or the doll, whichever they think it is.

[00:27:34] And just the mere act of trying to unbutton or unzip a sweater takes a very, very long time. Obviously the further their disease has progressed. And so It’s a hand eye coordination dexterity challenge for the person living with dementia, but for the caregiver, it buys you a significant amount of time. So it can take someone 25, 30 minutes to completely undress that doll all the way down to the newborn diaper.

[00:28:08] what would you do with 25 or 30 extra minutes? Well, I know that whenever I cared for, for nanny or, I’m sitting with her or whatever, it was less time I had to walk with her as she was pacing and pacing and pacing or sundowning or searching for an escape or, whatever. And a lot of times people always ask me, why do they do that?

[00:28:30] Why do they do that? And of course it is a brain problem, but it’s also due to boredom. and that’s something that we forget about. And so if you can elicit their help and help me change the baby or let’s change the clothes because we’re going to go somewhere and it’s too cold and the baby needs this or, whatever.

[00:28:51] It’s such a great exercise for, The person to do, but also such a nice little mild break for the caregiver. And so I can just imagine like a fleece jacket with the magnets or, my dad loves to wear, he likes, he started wearing in the past few years and during the winter, um, these vest, just a vest.

[00:29:15] And I often think about, he doesn’t zip them, but just a vest. And, I always think about, you know, how. If hopefully not, dementia ever comes calling, um, how he will be affected by the way that he dressed. Cause he’s very much like a polo type person. And so, he’s not one that’s just going to sit around in pajama pants all day.

[00:29:38] That is not him. And he’s a big guy and he’s strong. And I, I’ve thought about, Oh my goodness, how that’s going to be. A nightmare, frankly, because he knows the difference. So I just, I love this conversation. I love that things are becoming more adaptable and there is passion in fashion. So I love fact, um, yeah, our, our sweet little precious, family members and friends with dementia can still be fashionable. They deserve it.

[00:30:11] Rayna Neises: Yeah.

[00:30:11] Tonja Moon: Absolutely.

[00:30:12] Rayna Neises: I think one thing too, as a family caregiver, I always, when we found something he liked, we bought multiples because fashions change and just the tennis shoes, if you got too much color on it, he didn’t like it. He wanted what he had always worn. And so he, Sometimes that can be a big issue. And so you want to think ahead and go ahead and get multiples of things that they do like and are comfortable in things change. We know that, but there are a lot of those kinds of things that really don’t change what they prefer and what makes them feel like them. So I think it’s an important conversation to have and to really be considerate of, because like you said, part of the dignity of caring for them is to being their advocate when they can’t do that for themselves.

[00:31:00] And just because it’s clothers doesn’t mean it is them. I think allowing them to still express their, their personality and who they are is, is a beautiful gift. And I love with the grand babies that again, you can adjust that as well. In the beginning, you know, it might be matching those conversations that you’re having and putting those outfits together, doing that. Yeah. Even just given some options and let the person choose what they wanna dress the baby in that day, to then, as they can’t make those choices. And that’s overwhelming to, like you said, just undressing to get to that diaper and put something simple like a sleeper on or a. Getting to the point where you’re talking again.

[00:31:41] I mean, great conversation. The sun’s out. What kind of clothes do you think the baby needs today? Are you chilly? Do you need a jacket? Do you think the baby needs a jacket? Just being able to in the moment, have those natural conversations bring so much value that in the moment purpose for both of you in what you’re doing.

[00:32:02] Tonja Moon: Right. It’s amazing how little things like that, when you’re in the midst of caregiving, really you’re in the heart and soul of it and you are feeling tired, exhausted, discouraged, man, getting dad to put on a shirt that he likes that he’s comfortable in is a gigantic win. And it is a great time to step back and be like, you know, a little high five for myself because

[00:32:30] it works.

[00:32:31] Rayna Neises: Yeah, for sure. And shoes. I mean, I think sometimes we don’t think about shoes, but shoes are another one of those things that as people progress, being able to tie the shoe is frustrating. When they have an untied shoe, they see. it and they want to fix it. Their brain’s thinking, I need to fix that, but they don’t know how anymore.

[00:32:50] And so finding those things like adaptive shoes, have more Velcro, they have those slip ons that you don’t have to bend over to get in. And I think of my little Noah, who is my little Grand Baby, and he has these adorable cowboy boots and they have Velcro closures.

[00:33:08] Tonja Moon: oh my

[00:33:08] Rayna Neises: so they’re so easy to get on his feet because those fat little feet don’t fit in all the shoes.

[00:33:13] And so I slide them in there and put that Velcro on there. And I thought about the other day, I’m like, right, there’s adaptive clothing for my little Noah. So there’s all different kinds available for people. And.

[00:33:24] Tonja Moon: That’s amazing. That is so cool. And so Rayna will you link some of those things that you found? Okay. To our like show notes. So I can’t wait to see them. I think that’s so awesome.

[00:33:37] Rayna Neises: Yeah, definitely. We want to be able to share so that people can find what works for them. And definitely if you have suggestions, you have a brand that you’re using, or you found something that’s unusual, took you forever to find that’s just been the perfect thing for your person that you’re caring for.

[00:33:54] In our Facebook group, granny’s talking dementia on the show, page, there’s going to be comments underneath there. We would love to see your suggestions. And I can even move some of those over to our show notes page to be sure that everybody finds those as well. We’re a community and the more that we share those gems, the better we are.

[00:34:11] So.

[00:34:12] Tonja Moon: Absolutely.

[00:34:13] Rayna Neises: Definitely share.

[00:34:14] Tonja Moon: And wear your pearls on December 15th.

[00:34:17] Rayna Neises: 15th is Wear Your Pearls day. Thank you so much for joining us today. It’s been such a blessing to be able to be here with you on Granny’s Talking Dementia. We love to have fun, share stories and tips with you.

[00:34:31] Tonja Moon: Yes, absolutely. So, you know, we’ve got a great blessing and proverb to send you on your way with today. God is always right on time. So here you go.

[00:34:43] May you be clothed with strength and dignity, embracing each day with grace, just as pearls reflect beauty and resilience. Let laughter be your companion and fearlessness your guide as you navigate the journey of caregiving. Remember, you are cherished, capable, and never, ever alone. May you always carry the elegance of pearls in your spirit, shining bright in the face of challenges. Amen.

[00:35:11] Rayna Neises: Amen.

[00:35:13] Tonja Moon: Thanks, everybody.

We would love to hear your thoughts!

Leave a comment below.

Meet Our Hosts

Our podcast is guided by the dynamic duo, Tonja and Rayna, who bring a wealth of knowledge and charm to every episode. With their combined expertise, they delve deep into each topic, ensuring an engaging and informative experience for our listeners.

Tonja Moon
Tonja Moon

Host & Founder of The Grand Baby Project

With a heart as big as her smile, Tonja Moon brings a lifetime of wisdom and a knack for storytelling to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Founder of THE GRAND BABY PROJECT; a non-profit organization founded in my grandmother’s honor is focused on enriching the lives of Seniors living with dementia through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. Through DES educating staff in Senior Care Communities and caregivers at home on the innovative techniques and research benefits related to doll therapy. Tonja’s faith has been her anchor, and she shares her experiences with a blend of humor, honesty, and hope, aiming to support and uplift others.

Rayna Neises
Rayna Neises

Host & Certified Coach and Author

As a Caregiving Coach, Author, and someone who has personally navigated the waters of caregiving for both of her parents who passed away from Alzheimer’s disease, bringing a wealth of knowledge and a compassionate heart to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Married to a farmer and a grandmother to delightful grandchildren who call me Graham, life is a blend of personal caregiving experiences and professional expertise. On mission to support family caregivers, especially Christian professional women, balancing caregiving and career with grace and faith. Practical, faith-filled, and always aimed at providing support and encouragement is Rayna’s calling card.

New Podcast Released 2nd & 4th Thursday

Grannies Talkin Dementia Podcast
Copyright © 2025 Grannies Talkin' Dementia. All Rights Reserved.

Embracing Gratitude in Dementia Care

Embracing Gratitude in Dementia Care

Embracing Gratitude in Dementia Care

ep 2 gratitude

Real-Life Wisdom

Insights from grannies’ caregiving journeys, offering love, resilience, and faith-based advice.

Community and Connection

Building a supportive network for sharing experiences and fostering connections.

Faith-Focused Approach

Incorporating spirituality in dementia care, with scriptural insights and a blessing each episode.

Our Latest Episode

Key Takeaways

In this heartwarming episode of Granny’s Talk in Dementia, hosts Rayna Neises and Tonja Moon collaborate with The Grand Baby Projects to offer whimsical wisdom and support for caregivers of individuals with dementia. The episode opens with discussions on the significance of Forget Me Not Day, highlighting the beauty and symbolism of these flowers in relation to Alzheimer’s awareness.

The hosts share deeply personal family memories tied to flowers, reflecting on their own experiences as family caregivers. They introduce the concept of gratitude as a pivotal tool for caregivers, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a positive perspective amidst challenges. The hosts also share practical exercises, including a ‘Yes, and’ improv technique, to help caregivers cultivate gratitude in their daily lives.

The episode concludes with a comforting blessing from Isaiah, offering listeners a sense of peace and guidance in their caregiving journey. This episode is filled with touching narratives, valuable insights, and practical tips, making it a must-listen for anyone involved in dementia care.

 

00:00 Introduction to Granny’s Talk in Dementia

00:28 Forget Me Not Day and Flower Memories

01:51 Family Flower Stories and Green Thumbs

05:02 Caregiving Stories and Challenges

09:02 The Importance of Gratitude in Caregiving

18:06 Practical Gratitude Exercises

24:32 Gratitude Activity and Blessing

Resources and Futher Reading

The Transformative Power of Gratitude in Caregiving

This is the article and free resource by Rayna Neises

Read more about improv and gratitude.

Start with Yes! A unique way to communicate with a persons living with dementia

Start with yes!

The Links above are affiliate links meaning we get a small payment for referring you to these products.

Transcript
*Transcript is an actual recount of the live conversation

[00:00:00] welcome to Granny’s Talk in Dementia. We are your hosts, Rayna Neises,

[00:00:06] Tonja Moon: And Tonja Moon, we are in cahoots with The Grand Baby Projects

[00:00:10] Rayna Neises: offering whimsical wisdom, inspiring support, and joyful encouragement for everyone involved in the dementia care journey, whether you’re a family caregiver.

[00:00:17] Tonja Moon: or a professional in the field. Each episode is designed to uplift, educate, and empower you as we navigate this caregiving life together.

[00:00:28] Rayna Neises: did you know that it was Forget Me Not day on November 10th? I love Forget Me Not flowers. That true blue forget Me Not plant displays. Clouds of tiny sky blue flowers. With those yellow centers and they’re perched on top of these really harry looking stems and they grow four inches to about a foot tall. And I just, it’s one of those flowers, it’s a perennial. So it self seeds and it blooms every year I adore Forget Me Nots and they are the flower that honors Alzheimer’s. So it always reminds me of my mom whenever I think Forget Me Not flowers.

[00:01:08] Tonja Moon: Yes. I stumbled upon them. I love one of my favorite pastimes is working in my yard and I get that from my grandmother and my mother and I, kind of stumbled upon them. Because I typically living in Texas only buy flowers for my yard that can withstand harsh Heat and sun with very little water. But the forget me nots come back year after year after year. And, I thought it was a weed, but it was so pretty. I just left them alone. And, I saw them at Home Depot and you could buy them. And I was like, oh, it’s not a weed. But, yeah, They’re just sweet, sweet, cute little gifts from God that he just pops up for us, you know, just one of those things he sprinkles around for us.

[00:01:51] But, my grandmother had a green thumb and, I think I get that from her, her favorite flowers though, were roses. She liked red roses. My grandfather, though, I think when I think of my grandparents and flowers, I think of him because his favorite were yellow roses and He was actually a long haul truck driver, so he would go on trips, for weeks and weeks or sometimes a month at a time. And, he actually had painted on the door of his truck, his 18 wheeler a yellow rose. And so every time I see yellow roses, I think of him. And of course, Nanny loves roses in general. She, she was one of the rose people before rose roses and mixing different seeds of roses or pollen was a cool thing. She loved roses of all sorts. So roses make me think of my parents for sure.

[00:02:57] Rayna Neises: Yeah, so I married the green thumb. I did not inherit a green thumb. Farmer takes care of it all, inside and out pretty much. I do really enjoy flowers. I have horrible allergies, so it’s, they’re nice to look at, but having them too close is not a good plan for me. Lots of sneezing and itchy eyes and those fun things. But my mom, I don’t remember my dad like treating my mom to flowers. Flowers. At all. Like not a part of my memory. Of course, mom was gone early in my life, but as a young girl, I don’t even really remember flowers being around a lot, but I sure love flowers. I especially love fake flowers.

[00:03:40] Tonja Moon: Listen, I said, I was never going to be the lady that planted fake flowers in my yard into like, after Hurricane Harvey, it just wiped out everything. And I quickly realized that, landscaping was so expensive. And so,, I’ve started using, fake flowers in my yard. And I think it looks great. I, I, I often wonder if my neighbors drive by and go, look, there’s that, that crazy lady with all those fake flowers. If they do, they’re very nice to my face, but, like it’s fall. But you know, in Texas, we don’t, we don’t really have seasons. It’s either hot or it’s not. And when it’s not, it’s still 80 degrees. And so like mums, okay. mums are not going to live here. People will buy them and put them out. I’m just kind of like, ah, well, my mums live, honey, because. They’ll be livin through it all.

[00:04:31] Rayna Neises: And I have the opposite problem in Kansas. Mums are beautiful, but it seems like they get frost pretty

[00:04:38] Tonja Moon: Oh,

[00:04:39] Rayna Neises: I’ll have a really pretty mum for a period of time on the porch and then. All of a sudden it’ll just start drooping and it’s because it’s gotten down to 40, 30 at night. Even in the fall, we can get 70 during the day, but 30 at night. We have that extreme temperature. That’s not always pretty for the fall, but we have the most gorgeous fall leaves

[00:04:58] Tonja Moon: Oh, I bet. I bet. I bet. We don’t.

[00:05:02] Rayna Neises: and leaves were one of the things, you know, thinking of my dad, he loved a manicured lawn.

[00:05:08] Tonja Moon: My grandmother

[00:05:08] Rayna Neises: so he definitely took a lot of pride in taking care of his lawn. So all through his progression of his disease taking care of and cleaning was really important to him. So he started with having to be almost OCD with getting the leaves out of the backyard.

[00:05:26] And then as that got to be too physically challenging for him, then he just focused on the porch. And I would often collect the leaves that he had swept up and put into little bags so that when he went back inside, I would scatter them over the porch again, so that he would have something to do the next time he noticed the porch. He would get the broom, get it all cleaned up. I would help him put him back into the bag and then I would use them again. And so we would have leaves well beyond when you should have leaves around the house because it was something that really gave him purpose. And that was so

[00:06:02] Tonja Moon: That is so interesting. It reminds me of a story with my grandmother when she was, in a skilled nursing community and I walked in to visit her one day and she got really upset with me because I did not tell her happy birthday and it was not her birthday. This is long before I knew anything about dementia. I began to tell her it wasn’t her birthday, which was a mute point. Then I went looking for the doctor, because I wanted them to fix her because she was obviously talking crazy. I got ahold of the doctor and I was like, I don’t know what you’re doing to her, but it’s just getting worse.

[00:06:33] And now she’s hallucinating. She thinks it’s her birthday. He was so calm and cool and collected it. And he just looked at me and he goes, so make it her birthday. And I said, you know what? You’re, you don’t even get what I’m saying. I’m like, I want a second opinion. And he was like, Tonya, this is part of it. Just make it her birthday. And I was like, Oh, this is just ridiculous. So the next day I brought her a happy birthday balloon and she was so excited. So we did the birthday thing for about three weeks. I actually got her a stuffed animal and I brought her the same stuffed animal over and over and over until one day I walked in and I was like, Hey, birthday girl. And she was like, what are you talking about? It’s not my birthday. And I was like, okay, well, I guess we’re past that stage. So that reminds me of the leaves with your dad. Yeah, we went through that too.

[00:07:17] Rayna Neises: I mean, you want to be honoring and respectful. It’s not like I scattered them out in front of him again, but it was just, I wanted them to reappear so that he would continue to be able to do that long past, the actual leaves falling from the two trees that were in the backyard.

[00:07:32] So it was a matter of really honoring that purpose, just joining in where they are. And it’s such an important thing. And can be really difficult because, you know, We think very black and white. And so that thinking puts us in a corner and we’ll put them in a corner and nobody does well in a corner. We all fight our way out. So we want to make sure that we’re joining them with where they are and helping to find those things that bring them joy and celebrate them over and over again, even if it’s leaves.

[00:08:00] Tonja Moon: Mean, it wasn’t a bad thing to go for almost three weeks thinking every single day was your Birthday

[00:08:07] Rayna Neises: Sounds fun to me.

[00:08:07] Tonja Moon: and everybody convinced every single day was her birthday. So, I mean, I don’t know who was the smart one, her or

[00:08:14] Rayna Neises: Exactly.

[00:08:15] Tonja Moon: she was.

[00:08:16] Rayna Neises: Oh, this caregiving journey, you often feel that way, don’t You It’s, do.

[00:08:22] Tonja Moon: I mean, I remember thinking well played Ruby. Well played, you know, and I remember thinking, I feel like I’m the tooth fairy. I just show up with something and so much of it is like that because you don’t know the day that they’re having, you don’t know really the day you’re having and on those days when your patients are wearing really thin because of just life, those are the days I think that It’s the hardest to meet them where they are because you just are exhausted

[00:08:50] Rayna Neises: Your tank is already empty.

[00:08:53] Tonja Moon: I want someone to meet me where I am with a cheeseburger and that never happened.

[00:08:57] Rayna Neises: Give me an ice cream sundae any day of the week.

[00:09:00] Tonja Moon: yeah, I mean it’s just tough. It’s just tough. And so we’re talking about gratitude and those are the times right now that I think it’s so hard to practice gratitude.

[00:09:10] Rayna Neises: It is. I agree. Joining them where they are helps us to do that for sure, but we definitely have to be intentional. And we’re going to talk here in a minute about an article that I wrote that gives us a tool to use, to be able to practice some gratitude and be able to take those tough times and see them from a little different angle.

[00:09:31] So hang on, don’t leave us. We’ll be back.

[00:09:34]

[00:11:15] Rayna Neises: welcome back. We were talking about gratitude month. This is the month to really focus in on gratitude. And I found this really cool tool that we want to talk about.

[00:11:25] Studies indicate that positive appreciative attitudes, they definitely contribute to greater success in all areas of our life, from our work life to our overall health and wellbeing. And definitely as caregivers, it can help us in our journey. Maintaining that consistent practice of gratitude can be really hard.

[00:11:44] Like we were talking about our attention often gravitates toward what’s broken, undone or lacking. And it kind of overshadows the abundance that we have in our lives. So to harness that full healing potential of gratitude, it has to really transcend the status of where we actually are. And we have to develop a habit of being able to practice gratitude.

[00:12:09] Tonja Moon: It brings to mind a scripture, “give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” First Thessalonians 5:18. And that scripture just reminds us of the importance of gratitude, not as a passive acceptance of circumstances, but as an active engagement, really in all aspects life, but recognizing that them as opportunities and blessings. If it’s not habitual, it is just not going to happen. I mean, it really, really has to be a habit and intentional. So there’s this cool quote too, that I found that says, from Melody, Beatty, ” Gratitude unlocks the fulfillment of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order. Confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast and a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. “I was like, Oh my gosh, that’s just, how beautiful is that?

[00:13:11] Rayna Neises: So powerful and really true.

[00:13:14] Tonja Moon: Yeah, absolutely. And it just allows us to, uh, You know, a shift in focus. And when I think back in some of those times in my life, when I’ve been, depressed or sad or anxious, it really is all about the focus and where you’re putting your focus.

[00:13:32] Rayna Neises: It’s not really about ignoring the challenges or whatever it is that life’s throwing at you in the moment, whether it be, the person you’re caring for and a downturn in their, health or a situation that you’re frustrated with. It’s really learning how to make that shift and acknowledging that it’s still there, but really focusing and valuing the gifts of life and cultivating that sense of well being.

[00:13:55] Reminds me of another scripture, Colossians 3 15. It says,” let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body, we’re called to peace. And be thankful,” that thankful part, you know, that peace comes with finding that contentment and that thankfulness for what we have. And gratitude is definitely not an exercise in being naive, but rather it acknowledges the pain and the injustice in the world, but it embraces that goodness is in the middle of that as well.

[00:14:23] We don’t have to have either or, and like I mentioned before, that black and white thinking, we have a tendency to always think it has to be one or the other. And that’s where this tool comes in, that we’re going to talk a little bit more about is learning how to hold both and be okay that the fact that there are both and really learning to incorporate that gratitude into our daily lives as means.

[00:14:44] Actively seeking and acknowledging the good in the middle of all the trials. It really helps us to recognize and strengthen that we have what we’ve gained with our loved ones. I know one of the things that I talk about in caring for aging parents all the time is we will never have the amount of time we would never, our lives wouldn’t slow down enough to be with them. If they didn’t have these needs, if we weren’t in the process of walking them all the way home. That four and a half years with my dad, all the years before that in my life, I saw him and I spent time with him, but it was nothing like those three days a week that we were just so close and so involved in the moment together and taking care of his needs.

[00:15:32] Tonja Moon: Yeah, so true. You know, for me, I’ve gone through seasons where I think, I’m going to get up every day and I’m going to practice gratitude, or I’m going to, before my feet hit the floor, I’m going to really meditate, pray, and focus on things that I’m thankful for. And then I hit snooze and then I hit it again.

[00:15:55] And I think, okay, well I’ll do it tonight before I go to sleep. And then I’m exhausted. And you know, life gets in the way. Even just the simple act of stopping and being grateful in, A 30 second moment is so incredibly hard. It takes so much discipline. It takes a lot of discipline. And sometimes I think, God’s probably up there looking down going, can you just give me a little gratitude? I created the earth and the heavens and the galaxy. I’ve done all these things. Can I just get a little gratitude? And, you know, shame on us, but especially when you’re in a caregiving season, it is hard. And I have to admit, I was not good at it, especially in the caregiving season of caring for my grandmother. I just wasn’t it’s only really now that I can look back and think that. And be grateful for some of the things that happened, the good and the bad, all the times we had to move her, all the different situations we were in. And, you know, the negative things that were going on. It’s only now all these years later that I can look back and it’s probably a maturity thing to, a life experiences thing that I can look back and truly be grateful for that season. But it was hard. It was really hard.

[00:17:10] Rayna Neises: Yeah. And I think that’s part of where incorporating some of that practice, some of the consistency, I think even just the practice of thinking God for our food as we sit down and eat, it’s a time. It’s a practice. That we have a practice that’s hooked to something we do every day. So sometimes even if you think about when you brush your teeth at night, can I think of three things that I’m thankful for?

[00:17:32] That can be a practice that can be really easily added in because we know you’re going to brush your teeth. So stopping and brushing your teeth and just thinking while you do it, Oh, I’m going to be thankful. Okay, Lord. Today the weather was beautiful. I got to hang out with my grandkids or, I wanted this specific thing and they had it at the store, just those little things.

[00:17:51] If we can think of three things and just acknowledge them, it can really start to change that focus and really help us to pay closer attention to all the blessings that are in the middle of the hard stuff and it does have to become, that’s where it’s becoming just an everyday part of life.

[00:18:06] So let’s take a moment and kind of take a look at this simple tool.

[00:18:10] It’s called yes and and it has to do with improv. It’s kind of interesting because improv, the number one rule of improv comedy is you take what you’re given and you go to the next step. So you embrace the yes. And then you go to the next place. So it’s really created to help you enhance your ability to see the good in the challenging situations, to develop a deeper appreciation for the small blessings that are in your caregiving journey, strengthen your problem solving skills, because as you’re embracing the yes, You have to also figure out how to look at the and and fostering that well being overall so we’re gonna kind of start with taking a look at what the Yes, and looks like so we’re gonna just do this little role play together and we’re just gonna start off with Tonja this is the holiday season So many people are getting ready to travel and tell me five things about traveling that are a pain And that you do not like.

[00:19:09] Tonja Moon: Okay. Yeah. Crowds. I mean, I’m a people person, but I don’t want 10, 000 people around me. And, and this one, it’s just a weird Tonja thing, but, smells like, you know, the airport has that airport smell. And then when you’re waiting to get on the bus, that’ll take you to the car, where you parked your car, there’s all the exhaust smells. And then there’s all the people smells on the airplane. I know it’s awful. It’s definitely crowds smells. It’s expensive nowadays to travel. You know, people think, it’s too expensive to fly. So I’m going to drive. That’s very expensive. I mean, just the cost of traveling in itself is expensive. So that’s 3 things. I think the, I never feel prepared enough or packed enough only to find out I’m overpacked and the more I try to scale it down, the more anxiety it creates. So I just keep overpacking. And just the overall for me, The overall, I love to travel. I don’t love to travel during the holidays because it creates anxiety for me and anxiety, not just around the travel as in getting from A to B, but anxiety about the family.

[00:20:31] Rayna Neises: Like what you’re walking into.

[00:20:33] Tonja Moon: always that weird uncle or there’s always that the one that’s got all the issues that you’re like, okay. I mean, I love my family. If any of my family are, listen me, I love you. I can’t wait to see you at Christmas time. But, it creates anxiety.

[00:20:47] Yeah.

[00:20:48] Rayna Neises: So now let’s say yes, those things are all true. There’s a lot of people, there’s a lot of smells, it’s not cheap. There’s that having to prepare and question, am I prepared and did I bring the right things and did I not? And then the unknown. Of who’s going to be there and is everybody going to get along? And is there going to be any tension in the midst of it? Yes, yes, those things are true. And let’s talk about what’s good. So what’s good about traveling?

[00:21:15] Tonja Moon: So the good about traveling is the excitement because I love change and I love excitement, so I love a change of scenery. In talking about gratitude and thankfulness in general, I’m thankful that I have the ability financially to be able to, if I want to fly, I can fly. If I want to drive, I can afford to that’s gigantic blessing. So my yes would be that I don’t look, I worry about costs. I’m not going to take like, you know. First class to the rich or anything like that. But if I need to jump a cheap Southwest flight to somewhere, I can do that. So I’m thankful that I have the ability to do that. And then, thinking about looking at the list, I just made, and walking into the unknown and the family dynamics, that’s the whole reason we go It’s for the connections to make the memories to see the family, and I love that. I do love that part. I love, I love once I’m there and being settled in and. Taking a deep breath and being able to kind of be in the moment with the family and and catch up with everyone. I love that. And then I’m writing, I’m looking at the list that I wrote down about the smells.

[00:22:35] I know that sounds so weird to people, but if I look at it from a different perspective, because that’s what gratitude is, right? You’re, you’re changing your perspective. So if I look at it from a different perspective, I recall as a child or young adult, when my grandmother was still alive. Walking into her home on Christmas and being overwhelmed by the smells and nothing at any other time of the year replaces those yummy smells of all the cooking that was going on when my grandmother was alive.

[00:23:06] You know, we didn’t have all these, like. We probably did, but she didn’t. These, wonderful Bath and Body Works candles and all this kind of stuff. But, you know, you kind of had a vanilla candle and that was it. Or you had a candle that smelt like a Christmas tree. That was it. And I just, I remember that smell of those candles and her cooking.

[00:23:28] And that’s just never a smell that can be recreated. And that was the only time of year you could get it. And so, Those are all things I look back and I’m, I’m thankful for. But if the perspective is turned a different way, they were also negatives.

[00:23:43] Rayna Neises: Yep. And that’s the whole goal of this activity is that if you take the time to list the things that you don’t like, and then list the things that you do like, they actually are kind of two sides of the same coin. Aren’t they? There’s blessings in the middle of the struggles. Yes, the smells are there in a negative way and other people. But at the same time, smell can be such a blessing when you walk into that place that just brings back so many great memories. So I love the process of really starting to think about it as that perspective shift and thinking about how you can use this tool. Yes. And to not ignore reality and the things that are hard.

[00:24:23] But add the end and find the blessing in it. So stick around and we’ll be right back to learn more about activities and gratitude that you can do with those you’re caring for.

[00:24:32] Tonja Moon: The Grandbaby Project is a non profit organization dedicated to enriching the lives of those with dementia one couple at a time through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. In a world where every moment matters, The Grandbaby Project brings a beacon of light and love to those navigating the journey of dementia.

[00:24:52] Imagine a gift that opens doors to joy. Connection and cherished memories, even in the midst of challenges. Our therapy dolls are more than just companions. They’re catalysts for moments of happiness and peace for your loved one living with dementia. Crafted with care, our dolls offer comfort, Evoke nurtured instincts and spark delightful interactions.

[00:25:15] Join us in embracing the future where empathy, compassion, and innovative care redefine the dark journey of dementia. The grand baby project where we go beyond memories. We cultivate compassion and inspire action. Discover how you can make a difference at the grandbabyproject. org.

[00:25:39] Rayna Neises: So thanks for coming back. So we’ve been talking about improv and some ways that you can use that in your caregiving. We want to talk about some specific activities about gratitude since this is our gratitude month. I know it’s the end of the month, but we want to extend it all the way through and really make it just an everyday thing. So using those techniques with the yes and improv go so well with dementia. And caring for somebody. You want to try not to correct. And we’ve talked about that.

[00:26:04] You’re going to hear it over and over again, but in improv, when you’re up there on stage, you’re not going to tell somebody else. That’s not right, right? You’re just going to take the yes and move on. So you have to learn to go with the flow. Another thing that improv teaches us is be okay with silence.

[00:26:23] And one of the things we don’t think a lot about with people in dementia is how overstimulated they can become. And sometimes silence is just what they need. So it’s not a silence that we’re ignoring. It’s not a silence that we’re picking up our phone and engaging in something else. It’s a silence of just being present with them and then allowing them time to process and to really be able to think through what’s happening.

[00:26:48] So learning how To do some of those skills from improv, I think are so powerful and can be such a great habit to start to create. Let’s talk about some other activities that we can do to grow our gratitude, Tonja.

[00:27:03] Tonja Moon: Well, I would love to take credit for this, but, I actually saw it on Pinterest and I just thought it was the neatest thing. So, you know, when you’re at your table, whether it’s just you and your spouse or the whole family’s at the table to line the table with butcher paper and Go around at the place setting.

[00:27:24] I mean, listen, we eat on paper plates every night around my house, but, and just, with a Sharpie or a pen at each place setting, right. Number one, two, three, and just literally right on the butcher board. What are three things you’re grateful for? And when people sit down, have them write it and then elicit conversation around that.

[00:27:41] And I was like, okay, that is so simple, but that is the coolest idea ever. I mean, how sweet is that?

[00:27:47] I remember one time visiting my grandmother when she was, In skilled nursing, and she was pretty far progressed in her dementia, and I knew nothing about dementia, and so I remember asking her, tell me three things about your day. Well, I didn’t realize that she couldn’t do that.

[00:28:09] You know, I, I didn’t know I was not educated. I didn’t know. And so, she came up with these three random things. And one was like, I miss my dog.

[00:28:19] Rayna Neises: Oh,

[00:28:20] Tonja Moon: We had put a bird feeder outside her window and she would always point to the birds.

[00:28:25] But anyway, back to your question about just some other things, I think, so she’s been gone almost 17 years, but I have that memory of her.

[00:28:34] And so, and it was a precious one to me for some reason, , it’s just something that sticks out in my head. And so. As you’re caregiving for someone, you can practice ways of gratitude with them, and just like you always say, Rayna, just meet them where they are in those answers that they give you, because you’ll think back on them and they will bring you, comfort. She couldn’t tell me what she was thankful for. She just told me three things. The birds, I’m sure one was chocolate because that was just the last year of her life. But I think that sometimes we get really wrapped up in trying to do the perfect thing and we just don’t sit with what we get. At least I do. But those are some of the most precious times that I have with my grandmother is when she wasn’t making any sense and looking back, I’m grateful that I had the opportunity just to sit in that now when I didn’t then, if that makes sense.

[00:29:34] But I love the idea on Pinterest and you can go into Pinterest and type in gratitude and a million different little fun exercises come up that you can do, which is what I typically do before I plan an event.

[00:29:48] Rayna Neises: Yeah. So gratitude. Gratitude is something that we want to incorporate in everyday life, but sometimes those special things of just initiating the conversation can make such the difference. And as we’re caring for, we know the progression’s different. And so it might be just something that you have to remember what they loved and actually bring that back to their memory and do that reminiscence. That can really be helpful.

[00:30:11] Definitely being able to focus on and think about gratitude. It’s easier in the month of November because everyone’s talking about it. But we want you to walk away with tools and ideas of how you can have appreciation all year long because it will give you more resilience and help you throughout this journey.

[00:30:30] You’re going to need it and so you might as well start incorporating it now, wherever you are in your caregiving season. So thank you for joining us today for Granny’s Talkin Dementia. It’s been a joy to have some fun, share some stories, and hopefully offer you some great tips on gratitude.

[00:30:45] We always want to leave you with a blessing. And so This is what we want to leave you with today. It comes from Isaiah chapter 40 verse one “comfort of comfort. My people says your God.” May the Lord comfort you and your loved ones in every season of life. Just as he promised in Isaiah 40 verse one, May you renew your strength, uplift your spirits and fill your hearts with peace. As you navigate the journey of dementia with grace and faith, remember you are not alone. The Lord is with you, providing comfort and guidance every step of the way. May his love and mercy surround you, bringing solace to your soul and light to your path. Amen.

[00:31:26] Rayna Neises: Amen

We would love to hear your thoughts!

Leave a comment below.

Meet Our Hosts

Our podcast is guided by the dynamic duo, Tonja and Rayna, who bring a wealth of knowledge and charm to every episode. With their combined expertise, they delve deep into each topic, ensuring an engaging and informative experience for our listeners.

Tonja Moon
Tonja Moon

Host & Founder of The Grand Baby Project

With a heart as big as her smile, Tonja Moon brings a lifetime of wisdom and a knack for storytelling to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Founder of THE GRAND BABY PROJECT; a non-profit organization founded in my grandmother’s honor is focused on enriching the lives of Seniors living with dementia through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. Through DES educating staff in Senior Care Communities and caregivers at home on the innovative techniques and research benefits related to doll therapy. Tonja’s faith has been her anchor, and she shares her experiences with a blend of humor, honesty, and hope, aiming to support and uplift others.

Rayna Neises
Rayna Neises

Host & Certified Coach and Author

As a Caregiving Coach, Author, and someone who has personally navigated the waters of caregiving for both of her parents who passed away from Alzheimer’s disease, bringing a wealth of knowledge and a compassionate heart to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Married to a farmer and a grandmother to delightful grandchildren who call me Graham, life is a blend of personal caregiving experiences and professional expertise. On mission to support family caregivers, especially Christian professional women, balancing caregiving and career with grace and faith. Practical, faith-filled, and always aimed at providing support and encouragement is Rayna’s calling card.

New Podcast Released 2nd & 4th Thursday

Grannies Talkin Dementia Podcast
Copyright © 2025 Grannies Talkin' Dementia. All Rights Reserved.
Soul Food with the Grannies

Soul Food with the Grannies

Soul Food with the Grannies

Episode #1 Soul Food

Real-Life Wisdom

Insights from grannies’ caregiving journeys, offering love, resilience, and faith-based advice.

Community and Connection

Building a supportive network for sharing experiences and fostering connections.

Faith-Focused Approach

Incorporating spirituality in dementia care, with scriptural insights and a blessing each episode.

Our Latest Episode

Key Takeaways

In this episode of ‘Granny’s Talkin’ Dementia,’ hosts Rayna Neises and Tonja Moon celebrate National Chicken Soup Day by sharing nostalgic memories and invaluable tips for dementia caregivers. They discuss cherished family recipes and the profound impact of food and smell on memory. Guests Tracy Crump provides heartwarming stories about caregiving from her contributions to the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. The episode also covers practical tips for improving the dining experience for dementia patients and introduces The Grandbaby Project’s dementia therapy dolls. The segment concludes with a comforting message and blessing from Isaiah 40:1.

00:00 Introduction to Granny’s Talkin Dementia

00:28 National Chicken Soup Day Memories

02:34 Family Recipes and Cooking Stories

04:36 Cherished Memories and Caregiving Challenges

08:48 The Grandbaby Project and Special Guest Introduction

10:04 Tracy Crump’s Caregiving Journey

21:14 The Emotional Challenges of Moving a Loved One

22:16 The Importance of a Supportive Community

23:29 Sharing Family Recipes and Memories

25:08 The Secret to Delicious Chicken Noodle Soup

26:32 Dementia Engagement Strategies

28:13 Changes in Taste and Eating Habits with Age

33:06 The Role of Vision in Eating for Dementia Patients

36:24 The Therapeutic Benefits of Dementia Dolls

40:27 Practical Tips for Caregivers

41:55 A Blessing for Caregivers

Tracy Crump

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness:
Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness, based on her experiences as an ICU nurse and family caregiver. Her articles, devotions, and short stories appear in diverse publications, but she is best known for contributing twenty-five times to Chicken Soup for the Soul books. In 2022, she started a blog for caregivers, our unsung heroes, and posts weekly Instagram reels of Monday
Morning Motivation for caregivers. She edits, conducts workshops, and produces a writers newsletter, but her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.

Links for Chicken Soup for the Soul Books

.                               

Link to Amazon.                      Link to Amazon

The Links above are afliate links meaning we get a small payment for referring you to these products.

 

Links for Mealtime Coverings

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Link to Amazon                    Link to Amazon

The Links above are afliate links meaning we get a small payment for referring you to these products.

 

Resources and Futher Reading

Do Your Taste Buds Change as You Get Older?

This article is from the Cleveland Health Clinic

Improving the Eating Experience

This article is from the Alzheimer’s Society

A good mealtime experience can have a positive impact on a person’s health and wellbeing. Food preparation and the person’s surroundings can be important.

Transcript
*Transcript is an actual recount of the live conversation

[00:00:00] Rayna Neises: Welcome to Granny’s Talkin Dementia. We’re your hosts, Rayna Neises.
[00:00:06] Tonja Moon: And Tanya Moon, we are in cahoots with the grandbaby project
[00:00:10] Rayna Neises: Offering whimsical wisdom, inspiring support and joyful engagement for everyone involved in the dementia care journey, whether you’re a family caregiver.
[00:00:18] Tonja Moon: or professional in the field.
[00:00:20] Each episode is designed to uplift, educate and empower you as we navigate this caregiving life together.
[00:00:28] Rayna Neises: Today’s episode is an honor of National Chicken Soup Day, which was November 12th.
[00:00:33] And it’s brought to you by The Grandbaby Project.
[00:00:38] Tonja Moon: So national soup day, man. You know, I remember grandmother made chicken dumplings from scratch
[00:00:48] Rayna Neises: Mm
[00:00:49] Tonja Moon: and now oh, it was so good. And through the years, my aunts and my mom have tried to duplicate the recipe. She never wrote anything down, you know, and if she did, you couldn’t trust it. Because let me tell you, she never measured. Anything, you know, old school cooks didn’t measure. And so she didn’t measure anything. And it was like a sprinkle of this, a dash of that, and throw in some of the blah, blah, blah, you know?
[00:01:18] And so I remember her like in the kitchen, rolling the dough. And I remember going to a restaurant and seeing chicken dumplings on the menu as a child and thinking, Oh my God, there’s like this little lady in the back rolling, but anyway, her chicken and dumplings were so good. And so many of my aunts and mom have tried to recreate the recipe, but it’s just never the same.
[00:01:41] It just, and they, they even say that it’s just, it just doesn’t taste like Nannies did. And so I was just thinking about that the other day, because it’s getting cooler out. And Nanny was a great cook and if you, but she was really, really kind of funny and crazy about her recipes. So if she did write a recipe down for you, she would purposefully leave out an ingredient.
[00:02:03] So your food was never as good as hers. So everybody was always like, gosh, it’s not the same. It’s just not the same. And you know, it was much, much later, as I was older, that we all kind of realized, wait a minute, She wrote that recipe down for you. She wrote that down for me. Our recipes are totally different and she would do that on purpose.
[00:02:23] Because you know, her food was always going to be the best. So chicken, chicken and duck lenses, is my soup memory of my grandmother. Oh, so good.
[00:02:34] Rayna Neises: So I had a great aunt birdie and she made homemade noodles as well. So she would, and that was our Thanksgiving, typically Thanksgiving thing. I was so young when my mom was diagnosed, we lost a lot of our family recipes for that exact reason. She wasn’t able to pass those down when I was at an age that I cared.
[00:02:52] So I was really intentional to hang in there, squeeze in next to aunt Bertie and be like, Okay. teach me this. What are you doing? So that we wouldn’t lose her recipes. So I’m still able to make her noodles for Thanksgiving or turn them into chicken and noodle soup.
[00:03:05] And I love that, but recipes I think are such a, I’m a recipe follower. My husband is not, he, the farmer loves to just, he’s the chef. He just. A little bit of this, a little bit. Oh, this needs that more of that. I don’t get all that. One of my most favorite memories as a gram, because I actually have seven, almost eight gram children myself
[00:03:24] is I love to bake with my kiddos. And so in fact, my Owen, who’s now 10 when he was four and in pre K, they created the best cookbook I’ve ever seen. It was for schools fundraiser, and I had to win. They interviewed the little kids and had them share their own recipe. So his recipe was supposed to be for pizza is what he listed.
[00:03:45] The ingredients were strawberries, pineapples, cookie, yogurt, grapes, and under directions, it just said, Graham’s gonna make it.
[00:03:54] Tonja Moon: Well,
[00:03:55] Rayna Neises: Love myself some fruit pizza, but I never made fruit pizza with the boy, so I’m not sure what made him think of that, but I just love that he knew I’d take care of it that’s all that mattered.
[00:04:05] Tonja Moon: Oh, that’s the sweetest. That is the sweetest thing. That is so sweet. So we have a lot of my grandmother’s recipes, but we don’t trust them.
[00:04:14] Rayna Neises: Yeah, I can imagine.
[00:04:15] Tonja Moon: You know, it’s so funny. And she was just really interesting about it. I mean, it took like an act of Congress to actually get the recipes. And then when we figured out that they weren’t really all complete, you know, she would leave out like a vital ingredient, like salt. You just could never get it to taste right. I just love those memories, you know, just love those memories.
[00:04:36] Rayna Neises: And I think it’s so important to spend time reminiscing with those that you’re caring for. I mean, all of the women whether they have Alzheimer’s or not, they’ve been in the kitchen, right? We all have to cook. And so there are so many memories with the kitchen. And I think it’s so amazing how the smells can help bring us back and help us to remember and there’s such a great time of being able to reminisce with those that we’re caring for.
[00:05:00] Tonja Moon: You know, one of the things that I talk about with my family, literally every holiday season, it rolls around, especially with my aunts. We talk about this I remember as a child, as a teenager, when my grandmother, she cooked the entire Christmas dinner. She cooked the entire Thanksgiving dinner, the entire spread.
[00:05:24] Nobody brought anything because they couldn’t cook as good as her. And I mean, she was very blunt about that. And she didn’t want anybody else’s food mingling with hers. And I just remember all of us going in and sitting down. When she said it was ready and it was time, you better be ready to sit and serving ourselves and passing the dishes around and everything was hot.
[00:05:44] Rayna Neises: Wow.
[00:05:45] Tonja Moon: We sit around and we think like, how did she
[00:05:47] Rayna Neises: How did she do that?
[00:05:48] Tonja Moon: Because she would make stuffing or, make some, a bunch of stuff the night before, so it all had to be reheated. She only had one oven. Microwaves came much later, but
[00:05:58] we would sit down and it was all hot. And we’re always like, how did she do that? you know, what’s interesting. I sort of think maybe she didn’t, maybe we just were so afraid to say it was cold. That we can this ourself in our head that it was brilliant and it was all perfect
[00:06:14] Rayna Neises: She had told you it was going to be perfect and it was going to be the best you’d ever had.
[00:06:18] Tonja Moon: Wouldn’t dare sit at that table and say, well, the green beans are cold. Oh,
[00:06:21] Rayna Neises: Wow. It could have just been a mind game.
[00:06:25] Tonja Moon: She fooled us. She fooled us. She probably got it all at Luby’s. Yeah. Luby’s was a very famous, like, cafeteria place when I was growing up. But, and Nanny always said Luby’s had the best iced tea. You can’t get iced tea anywhere like Luby’s.
[00:06:38] But I remember even, like, the smells of it. Like, just walking in her house. And maybe not even during a holiday. Just, just cooking. Her standing over a big pot, you know. So those, those memories are just so, so precious. Well, it’s definitely one of the things that makes the caregiving journey of caring with someone with dementia is so incredibly difficult because we look at that person and while it’s physically the person’s similar, mindfully, they’re just not the same, and it’s so hard to embrace that it’s almost. not human to be able to wrap your head around it, right? When it’s like your loved one right there and you’re literally watching them disappear mindfully in front of you, it’s so, so difficult, so hard.
[00:07:29] Rayna Neises: They change and, but there’s still those little glimmers. I love it whenever I would see my dad give me that little smile that was just for me, there was just a way that he lit up. And he saw me and it was not always there, but there were moments when it would come back and it would just be like, Oh, there’s my daddy. He knows who I am. He knows, but it is looking for those little things because it is one of the hardest things. It’s just accepting them for who they are right now, knowing that the core of who they are is still there, but there’s definitely things that are different.
[00:08:03] Tonja Moon: absolutely. My grandmother had this little smirk, this little thing she did with her mouth and we would see it. We’d all be like, did you see that? Did you see that? She’s in there. She’s there.
[00:08:11] I can just picture it. Yeah. I can still just picture that on her. And, yeah, that’s a God thing. That’s a God thing. You know, he, He allows us to remember those things.
[00:08:20] Rayna Neises: Definitely. So listeners, we would love for you to go to our Facebook group and share your memories of, or even recipes, soups, recipes would be so much fun to see what you have enjoyed making, what your loved one has enjoyed making. So you can find us on Facebook at Grannie Talkin’ Dementia and just feel free to comment under this episode with your recipes. We would love, love to see that. We are so excited to see your recipes.
[00:08:46] Be sure to stay tuned. We will be right back we are going to have a special guest from Chicken Soup for the Soul Books share with us a little bit of her story.
[00:08:56] Tonja Moon: The Grandbaby Project is a non profit organization dedicated to enriching the lives of those with dementia one cuddle at a time through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. In a world where every moment matters, The Grandbaby Project brings a beacon of light and love to those navigating the journey of dementia.
[00:09:17] Imagine a gift that opens doors to joy, connection, and cherished memories even in the midst of challenges. Our therapy dolls are more than just companions. They’re catalysts for moments of happiness and peace for your loved one living with dementia. Crafted with care, our dolls offer comfort, evoke nurturing instincts, and spark delightful interactions.
[00:09:40] Join us in embracing the future where empathy, compassion, and innovative care redefine the dark journey of dementia.
[00:09:48] The Grand Baby Project, where we go beyond memories, we cultivate compassion and inspire action. Discover how you can make a difference at thegrandbabyproject. org.
[00:09:58] How’s that? Okay. Do you want to, I can do, I
[00:10:02] Rayna Neises: Welcome back. Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness Devotions for Hope in the Midst of Illness based on her experiences as an ICU nurse and family caregiver, her articles, devotions, and short stories appear in diverse publications, but she is best known for contributing 25 stories to chicken soup for the soul books. In 2022, she started a blog for caregivers, Our Unsung Heroes and posts weekly Instagram reels of Monday morning motivation for caregivers. She edits, conducts workshops and produces a writer’s newsletter, but her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled children. Welcome Tracy. We’re so glad to be able to visit with you today.
[00:10:49] Tracy Crump: Well, thank you, Rayna and Tonya. I’m so glad to be here. Okay.
[00:10:53] Tonja Moon: How exciting five little ones. Oh my goodness. I can’t wait. So, so just give us Tracy a little bit, in a nutshell, you’ve got such a vast background. Tell us kind of hone in a little bit more on the caregiving aspect of all of that. Absolutely.
[00:11:09] Tracy Crump: Well, I cared for both my mom and dad in their own home for three years after my mom was diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus. She had been dad’s caregiver before that. He had just general, health problems, a lot of serious health problems. After she passed away, I cared for him for another three years in both his home and then an assisted living facility. Then about a year and a half after he passed away, we moved our then 96 year old mother in law in with us, and she lived with us for four years. until she passed away at the age of 100. And nowadays, I’m actually doing more and more caregiving for my sister, who is both mentally ill and developing dementia, as well as a neighbor who has some similar problems. And her daughter can’t always be down here for her. So, you know, sometimes caregiving, once we start, it seems to go on. If that’s what God’s called us to do, then that’s what we do.
[00:12:09] Tonja Moon: Your story is similar to Rayna’s in that you cared for both of your parents back to back, one right after another. Wow. Wow. Interesting. So you definitely come from a place of, knowing what those long nights are, I say about me caring for my grandmother. It was, it was very hard, but it was very love filled. Yeah. And, and Rayna and I talk a lot about how you really have to obviously rely on your faith, but how important humor is.
[00:12:40] Tracy Crump: Oh yeah, it helps a lot.
[00:12:42] Tonja Moon: Yeah,
[00:12:42] Tracy Crump: It’s better to laugh than to cry.
[00:12:45] Tonja Moon: And as Rayna says, sometimes both at the same time.
[00:12:49] Rayna Neises: Yeah, . So
[00:12:51] Tonja Moon: Well, we’re excited to chat with you and we’re so excited that you’re here. So thank you.
[00:12:55] Tracy Crump: You again.
[00:12:57] Rayna Neises: Tracy, I know that you have contributed so many stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul, and that goes along with our theme for this, episode. We’re looking at National Chicken Soup Day and so we had been sharing stories about cooking and we just immediately thought of this, a wonderful resource. I love the book.
[00:13:14] It was so interesting when we met because I actually was one of the books that was on the coffee table at my parents house when my mom was first through her, going through her journey. I would pick it up and read stories at times while I was sitting with her and she was taking a nap or whatever we were doing.
[00:13:34] So it’s been one of those staples that we left out also with my dad so that caregivers could pick it up at different times since we had so many different people in and out of the house. But I love the way the books are created with such short stories, all with such inspiration. And it’s such a difficult season, but there is hope. And love that the stories are filled with that. So we wanted to have a chance to hear your story.
[00:13:56] Tracy Crump: Okay, well, let me just give you a little background too. Chicken Soup of the Soul has been around 31 years now. Amazing. They’ve produced three, over 325 books. So, you know, that you have one in your home, that’s probably pretty common
[00:14:12] Rayna Neises: Not the only one. Yeah. Oh.
[00:14:16] Tonja Moon: Wow.
[00:14:17] Tracy Crump: One of my stories was in Chicken Soup of the Soul, Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias. And I’ll just, I’ll just put my cheaters on here. It’s called Unsung Heroes. The quote at the beginning says, Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls. And that’s by David Thomas. Mom was coming home and I didn’t know what to do. A surprise diagnosis of normal pressure hydrocephalus and a shunt insertion had brought an amazing turnaround.
[00:14:48] She’d spent three months in a skilled nursing facility and another two weeks in grueling inpatient rehabilitation. Even after all that, she could do very little on her own. And was at high risk of falls. And we still had to contend with her dementia. I needed help, but where would I find it? I researched in home care agencies, but the cost nearly made me pass out.
[00:15:11] Surely we could find another way. I put out the word at church that I was looking for caregivers, and called friends asking them to do the same at their churches. I took a chance on one unlikely source, a homeschool email loop, where I sent a plea for help. Word spread. It worked. And over the next three years, God brought some amazing women into our lives.
[00:15:33] Each had a unique personality and gifts that enriched both my mother’s life and mine in ways I would never have imagined. Sherry, with the spiked hair and beautiful smile, loved to do nails. She also loved to talk. Mom often felt she was left out of things because her hearing deteriorated shortly after surgery.
[00:15:51] Thank you, Sherry. And she couldn’t understand much of what was said. Sherry would get right down in Mom’s face while filing and buffing her nails, and they would talk and talk. I always knew when Sherry worked because Mom showed off her latest nail color and gave me the scoop on happenings in Sherry’s neighborhood. Charlotte, a widow, was tall, well spoken, and unflappable. He could calm Mom during her rages when the rest of us couldn’t. Mom loved Charlotte because she treated her with quiet kindness. But Charlotte also possessed another priceless skill. She could do hair. Each month, each time, mom’s hair grew out after her shunt revisions.
[00:16:29] Charlotte colored it the ash blonde mom favored and gave her a perm. In between, she pin curled and styled it. She would never take extra money for her work. These might have seemed like small things in mom’s overall care, but they were huge for her sense of well being. Then there was Joan, who came to work for us at the beginning and stayed until the end.
[00:16:52] A short powerhouse of a woman, Joan was practical and organized. Called her my right hand woman. Fee instituted the notebook, where caregivers could leave notes for each other on mom’s current preferences, complaints, and needs. What worked and what didn’t. She asked me to print a chore list so they could coordinate keeping the house clean.
[00:17:12] Not that cleanliness was an issue when Joan was around. I often walked in to find her with her head stuck in the refrigerator scrubbing shells or up on a stool straightening cabinets. She even tried to mow the yard one time during one of mom’s naps, but she couldn’t get the mower started. When mom had a doctor’s appointment, Joan often came in early to get her ready and sweep or de ice the wheelchair ramp. Upon my arrival, Joan would hand me a list of mom’s blood pressure readings neatly copied out for the cardiologist or her food diary for the gastroenterologist. Many times she included mom’s lunchtime meds in a bag in case you run late or want to stop for lunch. But Joan’s caregiving went beyond practicality.
[00:17:54] On her days off or when she went on vacation, she called to check on mom. She visited her during hospitalizations and brought gifts or cooked foods she thought mom would like. Joan showed she cared in a thousand ways, as did all her caregivers, and there were many. Some stayed a short time or came late in the course of mom’s illness, but they all showed unconditional love nonetheless. And it wasn’t always easy. As anyone who’s cared for someone with dementia knows, the disease changes one’s personality. My normally patient mother became demanding. She wanted things done now, if not sooner. Worst of all, Mom went through spells when she cursed the caregivers for the least infraction, or for none at all.
[00:18:36] There were days when no one could do anything right. More than once, I stopped by the house and found caregivers in tears. Yet they stayed. And more came. Carol was an excellent cook and baked mouth watering pies to entice Mom to eat. She also knitted and made her a stylish scarf, a cup cozy, and a tissue holder. One night, I visited and found mom covered with the softest blanket I’d ever felt. She said Carol had brought it to keep her warm. Christy came to work for us a few months before mom passed away. A mother of four, she had a delightful sense of humor and the most gentle and nurturing nature. Toward the end, when mom became irrationally fearful, Christy would sit and hold her hand for hours. One chilly day, I walked in and found Christy wearing a tank top and leaning over mom. Her sweatshirt hung from one arm. My mother grabbed Christy’s hand as she reached down to put fresh water on the table. When Christy became unbearably warm, she pulled her sweatshirt over her head with her free hand rather than let go of mom’s hand. Debbie worked with us on Sundays for several months. Even after her health problems required her to quit, she texted frequently to check in on mom. The day before mom passed away, Debbie showed up at the front door. She wanted to see her one last time and sat holding her hand and praying for her. How blessed we were by such compassionate women.
[00:19:56] How blessed we were by such compassionate women. They not only cared for mom, but they also cared about her and became part of our family. These women may not have been classic heroes, but they rescued me when I needed them most. And though none were trained health care professionals, they were all exceptional caregivers.
[00:20:17] Tonja Moon: Wow.
[00:20:19] Tracy Crump: We were so blessed that we really were to have those, those ladies come just when we needed them. It was
[00:20:25] Tonja Moon: Absolutely. I mean, God just The right people at the right time.
[00:20:30] Tracy Crump: Exactly. Exactly. I don’t think I could have done it without them. I really don’t.
[00:20:36] Tonja Moon: You know, isn’t it so interesting you made the comment about, you know, the one lady that would pin curl her hair and. said that, um, while that wasn’t a part of her, the health care that she needed, how important it was for her, for mom
[00:20:55] Tracy Crump: Right. For mental health.
[00:20:57] Tonja Moon: wow. I mean that God knows what we need to down to the nth degree of sending an angel. To do her hair.
[00:21:09] Tracy Crump: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And they all have their own set of skills and gifts and, the different personalities, they all, they all matter to her well being and my well being, too.
[00:21:22] Tonja Moon: sure. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. I think one of the hardest things for me when we first moved my grandmother into the first community, she lived in. I remember that first night and, and I couldn’t sleep. I was awake all night because I kept thinking. What if she wakes up and she’s afraid and she won’t, she’s had her dementia was pretty progressed.
[00:21:44] She’s not going to know where she is. She’s not going to know who’s around her and what are they going to do if she wakes up and she’s afraid. And I should have just gone and spent the night because I didn’t sleep. But yeah, I mean, just all of those things. I mean, what a blessing to have those precious women surround you at that time. And your mom, Oh my goodness. She probably thought she was at the spa. I mean, everybody’s doing her hair and her nails. That’s what I want. Oh, wow. That’s just
[00:22:16] Rayna Neises: We found the same thing with my dad. It was just the right people over and over again. And I often share, they weren’t always my favorite people, but they were definitely what he needed. I’m not necessarily the fun person. So dad and I were doing things. We were, raking the leaves and playing ping pong, but the people who could just chat about nothing, it was just what he needed, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t something I enjoyed doing and really wasn’t very good at it. So I loved how he brought the different personalities in and it really met all of the needs instead of when caregivers feel like they’re the only one who can take care of their loved one. That’s when burnout happens and it’s
[00:22:56] Tracy Crump: Oh, absolutely. Mm hmm.
[00:22:58] Rayna Neises: They need all these other people that have these different gifts and talents, and God is faithful to bring them.
[00:23:05] Tracy Crump: hmm.
[00:23:05] Rayna Neises: Sometimes it takes a little longer to pray them in than others, but you’re definitely always thankful whenever, you know, He brought that person to be a part of the team, and like you said, so much a part of the family.
[00:23:17] Tracy Crump: That’s right. That’s right. Mm
[00:23:19] Tonja Moon: That’s amazing. So amazing. Yeah. Okay. Well, I’m emotional. So, um, we have to change the subject. And, um, I want to talk about your soup, your favorite soup recipe, because we’ve been talking about soup. My grandmother made chicken and dumplings and, Rayna and I talked about that earlier and Rayna and Aunt Bertie made her Aunt Bertie’s famous noodles. And so tell us your favorite soup recipe.
[00:23:50] Tracy Crump: Well, of course, it’s chicken noodle soup. Mm hmm. And I’ll tell you the truth. Um, my favorite memory is of actually getting the recipe because it came from a close, close friend. At the time, I just wanted some more healthy recipes to use, and so she sent me several soup recipes, but she said that was her family’s favorite standby.
[00:24:10] She said that was always, always enjoyed. And the thing is that she had a neurological condition, and she actually passed away. I think she was 42 years old. Um, always knew that it was a possibility that that could happen. And she left five children. She was a homeschool mom, like I was at the time. And so that’s a sweet memory of me that she shared those recipes with me. And then I can, I can kind of remember her every time I make that.
[00:24:43] Tonja Moon: can I do my, all my makeup?
[00:24:46] Tracy Crump: We’re having a tear fest today. It’s okay. It’s okay.
[00:24:50] Tonja Moon: Okay. All right. So, okay. Tell us about the recipe. You don’t have to go through all of it, but what, what’s so special aside from the emotional part of it? Is there something that is an ingredient we would not expect? I’m not a cook, so I’m always very interested in how all this stuff comes together.
[00:25:08] Yeah.
[00:25:08] Tracy Crump: Well, it’s probably mostly what you expect, but I think what really makes it special, and my daughter in law agrees, she loves this soup, but is to use homemade chicken broth. And what I do is, is I boil up, you get the chicken breast with the skin and the bone still on, and boil those up, and then I, I put the chicken, I freeze the chicken, and use that for other recipes, but then I use the chicken broth to make the soup, I mean, it gives it a totally different flavor. You just, until you use homemade chicken broth, you don’t know how much you’re missing, you really,
[00:25:42] Tonja Moon: That is so true because yeah, just regular chicken broth is just so processed and full of so much sodium.
[00:25:48] Tracy Crump: it is an often MSG too, which is one of the things I was looking to cut out. So that, yeah, it really is, it is, it’s much better for you and much better tasting too.
[00:25:59] Tonja Moon: Isn’t that something? I would say I would make the shortcut and use the chicken broth in the box, but now I can’t
[00:26:06] Tracy Crump: easier.
[00:26:07] Tonja Moon: I’m going to remember your friend.
[00:26:09] Rayna Neises: We will definitely share Tracy’s Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe on our show notes page at grannystalkindementia. com. So make sure you don’t miss it there. We’ll also have it in our Facebook group. So make sure you join us on the Facebook group to share some of your favorite recipes. And if you have amazing stories about the people who shared them with you, we’d love to see those too.
[00:26:29] Tonja Moon: Absolutely. Granny’s talking dementia. Thanks y’all.
[00:26:32] Dementia Engagement Strategies, your partner in dementia care training. Dementia Engagement Strategies, or DES, is a dedicated training partner born from the successful and unique non profit, The Grandbaby Project. DES is committed to elevating dementia care through specialized engagement and enrichment training offerings.
[00:26:54] Including the only dementia doll therapy certification available in the USA. DES was established on the understanding that delivering dementia therapy dolls, while impactful, was just the beginning. Caregivers, whether in senior care communities or at home, require education to maximize the benefits of dementia doll therapy and other non pharmacological interventions.
[00:27:19] Our curriculum is designed to impart real world techniques that can be immediately applied, ensuring tangible results in the care and support of individuals with dementia. Our offerings are not just limited to those in the senior care community, whether you’re a professional caregiver or caring for a loved one at home, DES provides both virtual and in person training options.
[00:27:41] Our goal is to empower caregivers with the knowledge and skills needed to make a meaningful difference in their lives. In the lives of those affected by dementia. is coming soon. It’s designed to impart real world techniques that can be immediately applied, ensuring tangible results in the care and support of individuals with dementia. Visit our website. At dementia engagement strategies. com and join our waiting list to get a firsthand look at our course offerings.
[00:28:10] Rayna Neises: Welcome back, so Tanya, I have a question. Do you think your taste buds change as you age?
[00:28:16] Tonja Moon: Yeah. Yeah, I know, it’s not uncommon for our sense of taste to change or diminish with time. And it’s, it’s a lot of factors. As we age, the number of taste buds we have actually decreases. So this usually begins to occur about in our forties, if we’re female, or around the fifties for males.
[00:28:39] So, at the same time, our remaining taste buds also begin to shrink or atrophy, and they don’t function as well. So that results in decreased sensitivity to taste. typically affecting salty or sweet and eventually even sour or bitter foods. So around that same time, our sense of smell starts to decrease, which also continues to the loss of taste.
[00:29:06] And you know, I remember my grandmother in especially the later stages as her dementia progressed craving sugar. And that’s so common. It’s so common. And, and there were days all she ate was chocolate and we were fine with that because she was eating and because she wasn’t fighting everyone. We got to a point to where if that makes her happy, I mean, she literally would pucker her mouth and would not eat anything except something chocolate.
[00:29:41] And so we always get a bag of chocolate by her bed and we would go in and all the wrappers would be everywhere and everything, but I remember asking doctors, like whenever I, I got into hospice is like, why do people? What, why is that? And that’s how I learned just our senses obviously begin to change. I mean, we know with dementia that, um, atrophy affects the limbs, right? And vision and all that stuff. But yeah, so, taste buds definitely, definitely change. I mean, think about kids, they eat weird stuff and we grow up and we would never eat that, some of the candies that I’ve seen that kids eat, I’m like, Oh my that is awful. So yeah, they, they, they definitely change and that’s hard for families. Yeah.
[00:30:23] Rayna Neises: Yeah, it is because you make, something they’ve always loved and then they don’t like it. And for my dad, it was sad to me because the doctor encouraged us to have him go dairy and gluten free. Oh, girl, it was hard because I, I was like, man, he’s lived 85 years, he should get to eat whatever he wants, but it interfered with his digestion. It did cause him to be uncomfortable. And so we found some great substitutes and that’s what we did. Some of the favorites that he always loved, we just let him have it anyway. But I was so funny because a caregiver that helped take care of him said to me one time, she said, I know he wasn’t supposed to have ice cream, but we went and had ice cream and we just didn’t tell you it’s we had Rice Dream for him and he did enjoy that, but not as much as, regular favorite Sunday. So it is challenging because you want them to get the nutrition, like you said, but there is a point in which you reach that. You’re just like,
[00:31:20] Tonja Moon: Just have something.
[00:31:22] Rayna Neises: My dad was a good eater, so we really didn’t have a lot of trouble, but it was hard to try to find those substitutes that he liked.
[00:31:29] Tonja Moon: The Alzheimer’s Society has a lot of information specifically related to taste and how things change. There’s some great articles. In caregiving for a loved one with dementia that’s one of those things you got to roll with the punches because you can’t fix it. But I remember being fixated on, she cannot live on chocolate alone. Well, guess what? Yeah, she did. I never gained a pound, so maybe that is heaven. I don’t know, she, it. was, crazy, but it, it’s what she wanted and, it’s what she got and she was happier for it. And it didn’t make any sense to us.
[00:32:08] And you know what, Rayna, looking back, I wish we hadn’t have stressed so much about it, but we didn’t have this information. We didn’t know you would never just let your loved ones sit around and eat chocolate for days on end. And, we didn’t know any different. And so we argued about it and we tried to hide chocolate and we tried to substitute a million different things. And we always came back to the same thing. It’s definitely one of those things that I think back of, You know, if I knew now what I knew, what is it saying?
[00:32:35] Rayna Neises: If I knew then what I know
[00:32:36] Tonja Moon: yes, we wouldn’t have sweated the small stuff.
[00:32:39] Rayna Neises: Yeah. It’s hard to navigate. When do I give in and when do I keep trying? But I think you have to keep trying. And like you said, you’re trying different things. You just don’t need to sweat it. You give it a shot. And if it doesn’t work, then it’s like, Oh, well, that wasn’t successful. I’m moving on to another thing, eating is challenging. And I think for more reasons than we realize. So to think about the taste buds shrinking and the number of taste buds shrinking, that’s shocking. Honestly, I had no idea there was that big of a difference. But one other thing that a lot of people are not aware of is that the vision is significantly impacted with Alzheimer’s as well. And so the ability to even see the food becomes a factor. We lose our peripheral vision. And so when you think about your peripheral vision. being gone, then that means if they’re looking at you, they can’t see the plates.
[00:33:26] Tonja Moon: Right,
[00:33:27] Rayna Neises: They don’t even know that the glass is there. They might lose the fork. And so there was actually a research study found that Alzheimer’s patients eating from red plates consumed 25 percent more food than those eating from white plates.
[00:33:42] How shocking is
[00:33:43] Tonja Moon: That’s crazy.
[00:33:45] Rayna Neises: just changing up some of those kinds of things, making sure the silverware doesn’t blend into the food and that the food doesn’t blend into the plate. And I think actually getting them started another piece of dementia that people are not aware of is the ability to can is really that they don’t know what to do. And so making sure that they know how to get started. Oftentimes just getting that fork going or that 1st step bite in the mouth starts a process that just wakes up that part of the brain and allows them to So It’s really important to think about those things on our show notes page we’re going to link some of these articles just so that you can find more reading if you’re interested in that. So that’s dementia at www.GranniesTalkinDementia.com. Some other tips that I found that I at the Alzheimer’s Society, where it talked about improving their eating experience overall by just thinking about the environment so many times. Those small things really aren’t that small. We need to make sure it’s relaxing and it’s appealing. And we need to think about it overall. Is it You know, If we’re distracting them with um, as the disease progresses, their brain can’t multitask. And so if you’re asking them questions, was that good? Then they’re, they’re looking at you and trying to to think of what you just said and trying to find the words to answer it. So then they forget to go back and eat. So making sure that we really think about how comfortable they are much they’re they’re able to enjoy eating.
[00:35:11] We want to keep the table clutter free. Sensory impact is significant for those that are living with dementia. The more they have to see, the more they’re trying to figure out. So avoiding pattern items helps to avoid that confusion. Soothing music can be really helpful. Switching off things like the television, because there’s so much input with that can really make a big difference.
[00:35:36] And then again, just making sure that you’re leading them, helping them to know what they’re there for. And like you said, try not to worry about it. Don’t worry about the mess. Don’t worry about how much they ate. Just try to get as many options that they enjoy today in front of them. It’s important that they eat.
[00:35:55] They are washable, just like kids, right? So there’s nothing we can’t throw in the laundry and take care Um, and they, um, that they have certain times that they eat better, that we’re aware of that schedule. And we try to keep them into a schedule that works for them and not always just works for us. So, I hope those are some encouraging thoughts for and that can maybe be helpful in your process of trying to help keep that nutrition as much as possible person that you’re
[00:36:23] Tonja Moon: Yeah. Thanks.
[00:36:24] Rayna Neises: So Tanya, we always love to talk about the grand babies.
[00:36:27] tell us a little bit about the grand babies and how they can help with
[00:36:31] Tonja Moon: Yes, so our dementia therapy dolls, we call them grand babies, in honor of my Nanny, they’re very specific dolls and, they meet the regulatory requirements for skilled nursing communities, assisted living communities, memory care communities when it comes to infection control and when it comes to sanitation.
[00:36:51] It took us a year and a half to curate and find our dolls. People ask all the time, can we have, is it okay for mom to have her grandbaby, her doll at the table? And I just say, absolutely. My grandmother, there is no research behind this other than the fact that it is proven in research that people who had a dementia therapy doll actually had an improved appetite. We saw that with my grandmother. My grandmother did not like to go to the dining room once we moved her into a skilled nursing community. She didn’t like to go to the dining room because she didn’t like those people,
[00:37:29] which she was one
[00:37:30] of.
[00:37:31] Rayna Neises: she was one. Yeah, but she
[00:37:32] didn’t know
[00:37:32] Tonja Moon: those were old people And they were crazy, and she did not like them until she got her baby doll. And then everything became about showing off the baby. And so in a community, a senior care community, most of the socialization takes place in the dining room or in communal areas. And so it was Nanny, let. Everyone’s in the to see what the baby’s wearing today. And, oh, here she goes. She’s ready. And, uh, because it wasn’t about anything but showing baby. And so she gets there, the smell is, you know, sitting down to eat. And, um, it was a bite for her, a bite for baby. A bite for her, a bite for baby. Now, it was messy.
[00:38:12] Rayna Neises: Yeah.
[00:38:13] Tonja Moon: It was very messy and I remember for us as a family, that was hard to see her so messy and dirty because that was not her. I mean, you a new outfit for church every Sunday, hat, shoes, purse that matched, So to see her with the bib and, food on it, it was heartbreaking, but she was happy because she was eating and feeding her baby a bite. So the grandbaby projects dolls are, I can’t say they’re bulletproof. I always say somebody stuffs a cookie or cupcake in their mouth. It’s fine. They can be wiped down. They’re very, very soft, soft silicone. They’re not hard plastic, but they can still be sanitized with anything that you use to wipe down the surface. Their little mouths are very easy to clean. A warm water Clorox wipe and a Q tip will do it. And so sometimes just getting your loved one to the location to eat is half the battle
[00:39:16] Rayna Neises: Mm
[00:39:16] Tonja Moon: because, you know, if they’re in a community, they may not like to leave their room. They want to isolate. Babies definitely help with that. But specifically related to eating, Nanny’s dog got lots of chocolate, but she also went to the dining room.
[00:39:29] So we were, we were grateful for that
[00:39:32] And, and so we would tell her you have to eat to be strong enough to care for the baby. And so she was with her and it made sense to her. And so that’s just one of the therapeutic benefits of Dementia Doll Therapy.
[00:39:49] Rayna Neises: Yeah. I love that.
[00:39:51] I think it’s also neat because it’s come a long way, the different types of coverings that you can use, the the dignity of what you wear. I immediately, when you were talking about your grandmother being in a bib, I remembered my mom. We tied. T towel around her neck, and that’s what she always wore.
[00:40:08] Now, it didn’t seem to bother her, but with my dad, that did bother him, and so we didn’t bother to cover him. typically, he wasn’t that. messy of an eater, so we were to just, you messed up, because it isn’t always fun to have to change the shirt again, because that’s not always easy when you’re caring someone. But definitely there are some great options. And again, I’ll put some of those on our website just so that you can take a look at it. If you haven’t looked into that, there’s some really great looking options that you can drape your loved one with as they eat so that you can take that deep and, and be okay in the moment and then just take it And so that you don’t have to go through the whole process of cleaning them and the shirts and all that.
[00:40:47] Tonja Moon: and you know, what’s interesting is the language has changed too, right? And so with a loved one with dementia, We, don’t like to say diaper. we we say brief or I was in a senior care community recently and they don’t use the word bib. They use the word apron. And I thought, oh my gosh, amazing. Nanny didn’t want to bib, but she would have wanted an apron.
[00:41:12] Rayna Neises: April. Oh, yeah, for her, for sure, because she loves a good.
[00:41:15] Tonja Moon: Exactly. And so, All little tips, you know, they, they really add up to make things easier. I mean, if we could just get her to eat in the dining room, that was a win for the day. Those small wins kind of, they add up that’s where you’re going to find your grace in those moments. Right. It’s just, oh, thank God.
[00:41:33] So
[00:41:34] Rayna Neises: Definitely. And the honor and that we can we can give them is so important. And we have come a long way and realizing our language matters.
[00:41:43] Tonja Moon: absolutely.
[00:41:44] Rayna Neises: Listeners, I hope that you’ve enjoyed this episode, learning more about eating and all the challenges that can be involved with that. But at the same time, some great practical tips. We’re so thankful that you joined us
[00:41:55] Tonja Moon: Yes, and listen, like Granny, you know, Granny’s always praying for her children and grandchildren. So we want to leave you with a blessing at the end of each of our episodes. So like granny, we’re going to end on a blessing for you. Isaiah chapter 40 verse 1, Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God.
[00:42:13] May the Lord comfort you and your loved ones in every season of life, just as he promised us in Isaiah chapter 40 verse 1. May he renew your strength, uplift your spirits, and fill your hearts with peace. As you navigate the journey of dementia with grace and faith, remember you are not alone. The Lord is with you, providing comfort and guidance every step of the way. May his love and mercy surround you, bringing you solace to your soul and light to your path. Amen.
[00:42:44] Rayna Neises: Amen.

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Meet Our Hosts

Our podcast is guided by the dynamic duo, Tonja and Rayna, who bring a wealth of knowledge and charm to every episode. With their combined expertise, they delve deep into each topic, ensuring an engaging and informative experience for our listeners.

Tonja Moon
Tonja Moon

Host & Founder of The Grand Baby Project

With a heart as big as her smile, Tonja Moon brings a lifetime of wisdom and a knack for storytelling to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Founder of THE GRAND BABY PROJECT; a non-profit organization founded in my grandmother’s honor is focused on enriching the lives of Seniors living with dementia through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. Through DES educating staff in Senior Care Communities and caregivers at home on the innovative techniques and research benefits related to doll therapy. Tonja’s faith has been her anchor, and she shares her experiences with a blend of humor, honesty, and hope, aiming to support and uplift others.

Rayna Neises
Rayna Neises

Host & Certified Coach and Author

As a Caregiving Coach, Author, and someone who has personally navigated the waters of caregiving for both of her parents who passed away from Alzheimer’s disease, bringing a wealth of knowledge and a compassionate heart to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Married to a farmer and a grandmother to delightful grandchildren who call me Graham, life is a blend of personal caregiving experiences and professional expertise. On mission to support family caregivers, especially Christian professional women, balancing caregiving and career with grace and faith. Practical, faith-filled, and always aimed at providing support and encouragement is Rayna’s calling card.

New Podcast Released 2nd & 4th Thursday

Grannies Talkin Dementia Podcast
Copyright © 2025 Grannies Talkin' Dementia. All Rights Reserved.

An Introduction to Grannies Talkin’ Dementia: Whimsical Wisdom and Faith in Caregiving

An Introduction to Grannies Talkin’ Dementia: Whimsical Wisdom and Faith in Caregiving

An Introduction to Grannies Talkin' Dementia

Real-Life Wisdom

Insights from grannies’ caregiving journeys, offering love, resilience, and faith-based advice.

Community and Connection

Building a supportive network for sharing experiences and fostering connections.

Faith-Focused Approach

Incorporating spirituality in dementia care, with scriptural insights and a blessing each episode.

Our Latest Episode

Key Takeaways

Whimsical Wisdom and Faith in Caregiving

In this introductory episode of ‘Grannies Talking Dementia,’ hosts Rayna Neises and Tonja Moon share their personal experiences with dementia caregiving, covering powerful stories of their loved ones, the critical role of faith, and practical tips for caregivers.

Supported by The Grandbaby Project, they introduce the concept of using therapy dolls and the importance of maintaining humor and joy in the caregiving journey.

The episode emphasizes the mission to inspire, educate, and provide a sense of community and compassion for both family and professional caregivers.

00:00 Welcome to Grannies Talking Dementia

00:45 Rayna’s Personal Journey with Dementia

04:21 Tonja’s Story and The Grandbaby Project

08:00 The Therapeutic Power of Dementia Dolls

10:32 Faith, Laughter, and Caregiving Wisdom

12:50 Conclusion and Blessings

Resources and Futher Reading

The Grand Baby Project

Tonja’s nonprofit bringing comfort and purpose to those living with dementia through dementia doll therapy.

Dementia Engagement Strategies

The only dementia doll therapy training available in the United States.

A Season of Caring

Rayna’s Coaching Services, Resources, Workshops and Dementia Education.

No Regrets: Hope for Your Caregiving Season

In this comforting book Rayna offers practical tips and personal stories that help us walk our parents all the way to the end of their life while still having a life to walk back into.

By being intentional throughout the process, she explains, we can hold on to faith, manage fear—and provide the best possible care for both ourselves and our loved ones.

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Meet Our Hosts

Our podcast is guided by the dynamic duo, Tonja and Rayna, who bring a wealth of knowledge and charm to every episode. With their combined expertise, they delve deep into each topic, ensuring an engaging and informative experience for our listeners.

Tonja Moon
Tonja Moon

Host & Founder of The Grand Baby Project

With a heart as big as her smile, Tonja Moon brings a lifetime of wisdom and a knack for storytelling to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Founder of THE GRAND BABY PROJECT; a non-profit organization founded in my grandmother’s honor is focused on enriching the lives of Seniors living with dementia through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. Through DES educating staff in Senior Care Communities and caregivers at home on the innovative techniques and research benefits related to doll therapy. Tonja’s faith has been her anchor, and she shares her experiences with a blend of humor, honesty, and hope, aiming to support and uplift others.

Rayna Neises
Rayna Neises

Host & Certified Coach and Author

As a Caregiving Coach, Author, and someone who has personally navigated the waters of caregiving for both of her parents who passed away from Alzheimer’s disease, bringing a wealth of knowledge and a compassionate heart to “Grannies Talkin’ Dementia.” Married to a farmer and a grandmother to delightful grandchildren who call me Graham, life is a blend of personal caregiving experiences and professional expertise. On mission to support family caregivers, especially Christian professional women, balancing caregiving and career with grace and faith. Practical, faith-filled, and always aimed at providing support and encouragement is Rayna’s calling card.

New Podcast Released 2nd & 4th Thursday

Grannies Talkin Dementia Podcast
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Grannies Talkin' Dementia Podcast