[00:00:00] Rayna Neises: Welcome to Granny’s Talkin Dementia. We’re your hosts, Rayna Neises.
[00:00:06] Tonja Moon: And Tanya Moon, we are in cahoots with the grandbaby project
[00:00:10] Rayna Neises: Offering whimsical wisdom, inspiring support and joyful engagement for everyone involved in the dementia care journey, whether you’re a family caregiver.
[00:00:18] Tonja Moon: or professional in the field.
[00:00:20] Each episode is designed to uplift, educate and empower you as we navigate this caregiving life together.
[00:00:28] Rayna Neises: Today’s episode is an honor of National Chicken Soup Day, which was November 12th.
[00:00:33] And it’s brought to you by The Grandbaby Project.
[00:00:38] Tonja Moon: So national soup day, man. You know, I remember grandmother made chicken dumplings from scratch
[00:00:48] Rayna Neises: Mm
[00:00:49] Tonja Moon: and now oh, it was so good. And through the years, my aunts and my mom have tried to duplicate the recipe. She never wrote anything down, you know, and if she did, you couldn’t trust it. Because let me tell you, she never measured. Anything, you know, old school cooks didn’t measure. And so she didn’t measure anything. And it was like a sprinkle of this, a dash of that, and throw in some of the blah, blah, blah, you know?
[00:01:18] And so I remember her like in the kitchen, rolling the dough. And I remember going to a restaurant and seeing chicken dumplings on the menu as a child and thinking, Oh my God, there’s like this little lady in the back rolling, but anyway, her chicken and dumplings were so good. And so many of my aunts and mom have tried to recreate the recipe, but it’s just never the same.
[00:01:41] It just, and they, they even say that it’s just, it just doesn’t taste like Nannies did. And so I was just thinking about that the other day, because it’s getting cooler out. And Nanny was a great cook and if you, but she was really, really kind of funny and crazy about her recipes. So if she did write a recipe down for you, she would purposefully leave out an ingredient.
[00:02:03] So your food was never as good as hers. So everybody was always like, gosh, it’s not the same. It’s just not the same. And you know, it was much, much later, as I was older, that we all kind of realized, wait a minute, She wrote that recipe down for you. She wrote that down for me. Our recipes are totally different and she would do that on purpose.
[00:02:23] Because you know, her food was always going to be the best. So chicken, chicken and duck lenses, is my soup memory of my grandmother. Oh, so good.
[00:02:34] Rayna Neises: So I had a great aunt birdie and she made homemade noodles as well. So she would, and that was our Thanksgiving, typically Thanksgiving thing. I was so young when my mom was diagnosed, we lost a lot of our family recipes for that exact reason. She wasn’t able to pass those down when I was at an age that I cared.
[00:02:52] So I was really intentional to hang in there, squeeze in next to aunt Bertie and be like, Okay. teach me this. What are you doing? So that we wouldn’t lose her recipes. So I’m still able to make her noodles for Thanksgiving or turn them into chicken and noodle soup.
[00:03:05] And I love that, but recipes I think are such a, I’m a recipe follower. My husband is not, he, the farmer loves to just, he’s the chef. He just. A little bit of this, a little bit. Oh, this needs that more of that. I don’t get all that. One of my most favorite memories as a gram, because I actually have seven, almost eight gram children myself
[00:03:24] is I love to bake with my kiddos. And so in fact, my Owen, who’s now 10 when he was four and in pre K, they created the best cookbook I’ve ever seen. It was for schools fundraiser, and I had to win. They interviewed the little kids and had them share their own recipe. So his recipe was supposed to be for pizza is what he listed.
[00:03:45] The ingredients were strawberries, pineapples, cookie, yogurt, grapes, and under directions, it just said, Graham’s gonna make it.
[00:03:54] Tonja Moon: Well,
[00:03:55] Rayna Neises: Love myself some fruit pizza, but I never made fruit pizza with the boy, so I’m not sure what made him think of that, but I just love that he knew I’d take care of it that’s all that mattered.
[00:04:05] Tonja Moon: Oh, that’s the sweetest. That is the sweetest thing. That is so sweet. So we have a lot of my grandmother’s recipes, but we don’t trust them.
[00:04:14] Rayna Neises: Yeah, I can imagine.
[00:04:15] Tonja Moon: You know, it’s so funny. And she was just really interesting about it. I mean, it took like an act of Congress to actually get the recipes. And then when we figured out that they weren’t really all complete, you know, she would leave out like a vital ingredient, like salt. You just could never get it to taste right. I just love those memories, you know, just love those memories.
[00:04:36] Rayna Neises: And I think it’s so important to spend time reminiscing with those that you’re caring for. I mean, all of the women whether they have Alzheimer’s or not, they’ve been in the kitchen, right? We all have to cook. And so there are so many memories with the kitchen. And I think it’s so amazing how the smells can help bring us back and help us to remember and there’s such a great time of being able to reminisce with those that we’re caring for.
[00:05:00] Tonja Moon: You know, one of the things that I talk about with my family, literally every holiday season, it rolls around, especially with my aunts. We talk about this I remember as a child, as a teenager, when my grandmother, she cooked the entire Christmas dinner. She cooked the entire Thanksgiving dinner, the entire spread.
[00:05:24] Nobody brought anything because they couldn’t cook as good as her. And I mean, she was very blunt about that. And she didn’t want anybody else’s food mingling with hers. And I just remember all of us going in and sitting down. When she said it was ready and it was time, you better be ready to sit and serving ourselves and passing the dishes around and everything was hot.
[00:05:44] Rayna Neises: Wow.
[00:05:45] Tonja Moon: We sit around and we think like, how did she
[00:05:47] Rayna Neises: How did she do that?
[00:05:48] Tonja Moon: Because she would make stuffing or, make some, a bunch of stuff the night before, so it all had to be reheated. She only had one oven. Microwaves came much later, but
[00:05:58] we would sit down and it was all hot. And we’re always like, how did she do that? you know, what’s interesting. I sort of think maybe she didn’t, maybe we just were so afraid to say it was cold. That we can this ourself in our head that it was brilliant and it was all perfect
[00:06:14] Rayna Neises: She had told you it was going to be perfect and it was going to be the best you’d ever had.
[00:06:18] Tonja Moon: Wouldn’t dare sit at that table and say, well, the green beans are cold. Oh,
[00:06:21] Rayna Neises: Wow. It could have just been a mind game.
[00:06:25] Tonja Moon: She fooled us. She fooled us. She probably got it all at Luby’s. Yeah. Luby’s was a very famous, like, cafeteria place when I was growing up. But, and Nanny always said Luby’s had the best iced tea. You can’t get iced tea anywhere like Luby’s.
[00:06:38] But I remember even, like, the smells of it. Like, just walking in her house. And maybe not even during a holiday. Just, just cooking. Her standing over a big pot, you know. So those, those memories are just so, so precious. Well, it’s definitely one of the things that makes the caregiving journey of caring with someone with dementia is so incredibly difficult because we look at that person and while it’s physically the person’s similar, mindfully, they’re just not the same, and it’s so hard to embrace that it’s almost. not human to be able to wrap your head around it, right? When it’s like your loved one right there and you’re literally watching them disappear mindfully in front of you, it’s so, so difficult, so hard.
[00:07:29] Rayna Neises: They change and, but there’s still those little glimmers. I love it whenever I would see my dad give me that little smile that was just for me, there was just a way that he lit up. And he saw me and it was not always there, but there were moments when it would come back and it would just be like, Oh, there’s my daddy. He knows who I am. He knows, but it is looking for those little things because it is one of the hardest things. It’s just accepting them for who they are right now, knowing that the core of who they are is still there, but there’s definitely things that are different.
[00:08:03] Tonja Moon: absolutely. My grandmother had this little smirk, this little thing she did with her mouth and we would see it. We’d all be like, did you see that? Did you see that? She’s in there. She’s there.
[00:08:11] I can just picture it. Yeah. I can still just picture that on her. And, yeah, that’s a God thing. That’s a God thing. You know, he, He allows us to remember those things.
[00:08:20] Rayna Neises: Definitely. So listeners, we would love for you to go to our Facebook group and share your memories of, or even recipes, soups, recipes would be so much fun to see what you have enjoyed making, what your loved one has enjoyed making. So you can find us on Facebook at Grannie Talkin’ Dementia and just feel free to comment under this episode with your recipes. We would love, love to see that. We are so excited to see your recipes.
[00:08:46] Be sure to stay tuned. We will be right back we are going to have a special guest from Chicken Soup for the Soul Books share with us a little bit of her story.
[00:08:56] Tonja Moon: The Grandbaby Project is a non profit organization dedicated to enriching the lives of those with dementia one cuddle at a time through the innovative use of dementia doll therapy. In a world where every moment matters, The Grandbaby Project brings a beacon of light and love to those navigating the journey of dementia.
[00:09:17] Imagine a gift that opens doors to joy, connection, and cherished memories even in the midst of challenges. Our therapy dolls are more than just companions. They’re catalysts for moments of happiness and peace for your loved one living with dementia. Crafted with care, our dolls offer comfort, evoke nurturing instincts, and spark delightful interactions.
[00:09:40] Join us in embracing the future where empathy, compassion, and innovative care redefine the dark journey of dementia.
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[00:09:58] How’s that? Okay. Do you want to, I can do, I
[00:10:02] Rayna Neises: Welcome back. Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness Devotions for Hope in the Midst of Illness based on her experiences as an ICU nurse and family caregiver, her articles, devotions, and short stories appear in diverse publications, but she is best known for contributing 25 stories to chicken soup for the soul books. In 2022, she started a blog for caregivers, Our Unsung Heroes and posts weekly Instagram reels of Monday morning motivation for caregivers. She edits, conducts workshops and produces a writer’s newsletter, but her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled children. Welcome Tracy. We’re so glad to be able to visit with you today.
[00:10:49] Tracy Crump: Well, thank you, Rayna and Tonya. I’m so glad to be here. Okay.
[00:10:53] Tonja Moon: How exciting five little ones. Oh my goodness. I can’t wait. So, so just give us Tracy a little bit, in a nutshell, you’ve got such a vast background. Tell us kind of hone in a little bit more on the caregiving aspect of all of that. Absolutely.
[00:11:09] Tracy Crump: Well, I cared for both my mom and dad in their own home for three years after my mom was diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus. She had been dad’s caregiver before that. He had just general, health problems, a lot of serious health problems. After she passed away, I cared for him for another three years in both his home and then an assisted living facility. Then about a year and a half after he passed away, we moved our then 96 year old mother in law in with us, and she lived with us for four years. until she passed away at the age of 100. And nowadays, I’m actually doing more and more caregiving for my sister, who is both mentally ill and developing dementia, as well as a neighbor who has some similar problems. And her daughter can’t always be down here for her. So, you know, sometimes caregiving, once we start, it seems to go on. If that’s what God’s called us to do, then that’s what we do.
[00:12:09] Tonja Moon: Your story is similar to Rayna’s in that you cared for both of your parents back to back, one right after another. Wow. Wow. Interesting. So you definitely come from a place of, knowing what those long nights are, I say about me caring for my grandmother. It was, it was very hard, but it was very love filled. Yeah. And, and Rayna and I talk a lot about how you really have to obviously rely on your faith, but how important humor is.
[00:12:40] Tracy Crump: Oh yeah, it helps a lot.
[00:12:42] Tonja Moon: Yeah,
[00:12:42] Tracy Crump: It’s better to laugh than to cry.
[00:12:45] Tonja Moon: And as Rayna says, sometimes both at the same time.
[00:12:49] Rayna Neises: Yeah, . So
[00:12:51] Tonja Moon: Well, we’re excited to chat with you and we’re so excited that you’re here. So thank you.
[00:12:55] Tracy Crump: You again.
[00:12:57] Rayna Neises: Tracy, I know that you have contributed so many stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul, and that goes along with our theme for this, episode. We’re looking at National Chicken Soup Day and so we had been sharing stories about cooking and we just immediately thought of this, a wonderful resource. I love the book.
[00:13:14] It was so interesting when we met because I actually was one of the books that was on the coffee table at my parents house when my mom was first through her, going through her journey. I would pick it up and read stories at times while I was sitting with her and she was taking a nap or whatever we were doing.
[00:13:34] So it’s been one of those staples that we left out also with my dad so that caregivers could pick it up at different times since we had so many different people in and out of the house. But I love the way the books are created with such short stories, all with such inspiration. And it’s such a difficult season, but there is hope. And love that the stories are filled with that. So we wanted to have a chance to hear your story.
[00:13:56] Tracy Crump: Okay, well, let me just give you a little background too. Chicken Soup of the Soul has been around 31 years now. Amazing. They’ve produced three, over 325 books. So, you know, that you have one in your home, that’s probably pretty common
[00:14:12] Rayna Neises: Not the only one. Yeah. Oh.
[00:14:16] Tonja Moon: Wow.
[00:14:17] Tracy Crump: One of my stories was in Chicken Soup of the Soul, Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias. And I’ll just, I’ll just put my cheaters on here. It’s called Unsung Heroes. The quote at the beginning says, Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls. And that’s by David Thomas. Mom was coming home and I didn’t know what to do. A surprise diagnosis of normal pressure hydrocephalus and a shunt insertion had brought an amazing turnaround.
[00:14:48] She’d spent three months in a skilled nursing facility and another two weeks in grueling inpatient rehabilitation. Even after all that, she could do very little on her own. And was at high risk of falls. And we still had to contend with her dementia. I needed help, but where would I find it? I researched in home care agencies, but the cost nearly made me pass out.
[00:15:11] Surely we could find another way. I put out the word at church that I was looking for caregivers, and called friends asking them to do the same at their churches. I took a chance on one unlikely source, a homeschool email loop, where I sent a plea for help. Word spread. It worked. And over the next three years, God brought some amazing women into our lives.
[00:15:33] Each had a unique personality and gifts that enriched both my mother’s life and mine in ways I would never have imagined. Sherry, with the spiked hair and beautiful smile, loved to do nails. She also loved to talk. Mom often felt she was left out of things because her hearing deteriorated shortly after surgery.
[00:15:51] Thank you, Sherry. And she couldn’t understand much of what was said. Sherry would get right down in Mom’s face while filing and buffing her nails, and they would talk and talk. I always knew when Sherry worked because Mom showed off her latest nail color and gave me the scoop on happenings in Sherry’s neighborhood. Charlotte, a widow, was tall, well spoken, and unflappable. He could calm Mom during her rages when the rest of us couldn’t. Mom loved Charlotte because she treated her with quiet kindness. But Charlotte also possessed another priceless skill. She could do hair. Each month, each time, mom’s hair grew out after her shunt revisions.
[00:16:29] Charlotte colored it the ash blonde mom favored and gave her a perm. In between, she pin curled and styled it. She would never take extra money for her work. These might have seemed like small things in mom’s overall care, but they were huge for her sense of well being. Then there was Joan, who came to work for us at the beginning and stayed until the end.
[00:16:52] A short powerhouse of a woman, Joan was practical and organized. Called her my right hand woman. Fee instituted the notebook, where caregivers could leave notes for each other on mom’s current preferences, complaints, and needs. What worked and what didn’t. She asked me to print a chore list so they could coordinate keeping the house clean.
[00:17:12] Not that cleanliness was an issue when Joan was around. I often walked in to find her with her head stuck in the refrigerator scrubbing shells or up on a stool straightening cabinets. She even tried to mow the yard one time during one of mom’s naps, but she couldn’t get the mower started. When mom had a doctor’s appointment, Joan often came in early to get her ready and sweep or de ice the wheelchair ramp. Upon my arrival, Joan would hand me a list of mom’s blood pressure readings neatly copied out for the cardiologist or her food diary for the gastroenterologist. Many times she included mom’s lunchtime meds in a bag in case you run late or want to stop for lunch. But Joan’s caregiving went beyond practicality.
[00:17:54] On her days off or when she went on vacation, she called to check on mom. She visited her during hospitalizations and brought gifts or cooked foods she thought mom would like. Joan showed she cared in a thousand ways, as did all her caregivers, and there were many. Some stayed a short time or came late in the course of mom’s illness, but they all showed unconditional love nonetheless. And it wasn’t always easy. As anyone who’s cared for someone with dementia knows, the disease changes one’s personality. My normally patient mother became demanding. She wanted things done now, if not sooner. Worst of all, Mom went through spells when she cursed the caregivers for the least infraction, or for none at all.
[00:18:36] There were days when no one could do anything right. More than once, I stopped by the house and found caregivers in tears. Yet they stayed. And more came. Carol was an excellent cook and baked mouth watering pies to entice Mom to eat. She also knitted and made her a stylish scarf, a cup cozy, and a tissue holder. One night, I visited and found mom covered with the softest blanket I’d ever felt. She said Carol had brought it to keep her warm. Christy came to work for us a few months before mom passed away. A mother of four, she had a delightful sense of humor and the most gentle and nurturing nature. Toward the end, when mom became irrationally fearful, Christy would sit and hold her hand for hours. One chilly day, I walked in and found Christy wearing a tank top and leaning over mom. Her sweatshirt hung from one arm. My mother grabbed Christy’s hand as she reached down to put fresh water on the table. When Christy became unbearably warm, she pulled her sweatshirt over her head with her free hand rather than let go of mom’s hand. Debbie worked with us on Sundays for several months. Even after her health problems required her to quit, she texted frequently to check in on mom. The day before mom passed away, Debbie showed up at the front door. She wanted to see her one last time and sat holding her hand and praying for her. How blessed we were by such compassionate women.
[00:19:56] How blessed we were by such compassionate women. They not only cared for mom, but they also cared about her and became part of our family. These women may not have been classic heroes, but they rescued me when I needed them most. And though none were trained health care professionals, they were all exceptional caregivers.
[00:20:17] Tonja Moon: Wow.
[00:20:19] Tracy Crump: We were so blessed that we really were to have those, those ladies come just when we needed them. It was
[00:20:25] Tonja Moon: Absolutely. I mean, God just The right people at the right time.
[00:20:30] Tracy Crump: Exactly. Exactly. I don’t think I could have done it without them. I really don’t.
[00:20:36] Tonja Moon: You know, isn’t it so interesting you made the comment about, you know, the one lady that would pin curl her hair and. said that, um, while that wasn’t a part of her, the health care that she needed, how important it was for her, for mom
[00:20:55] Tracy Crump: Right. For mental health.
[00:20:57] Tonja Moon: wow. I mean that God knows what we need to down to the nth degree of sending an angel. To do her hair.
[00:21:09] Tracy Crump: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And they all have their own set of skills and gifts and, the different personalities, they all, they all matter to her well being and my well being, too.
[00:21:22] Tonja Moon: sure. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. I think one of the hardest things for me when we first moved my grandmother into the first community, she lived in. I remember that first night and, and I couldn’t sleep. I was awake all night because I kept thinking. What if she wakes up and she’s afraid and she won’t, she’s had her dementia was pretty progressed.
[00:21:44] She’s not going to know where she is. She’s not going to know who’s around her and what are they going to do if she wakes up and she’s afraid. And I should have just gone and spent the night because I didn’t sleep. But yeah, I mean, just all of those things. I mean, what a blessing to have those precious women surround you at that time. And your mom, Oh my goodness. She probably thought she was at the spa. I mean, everybody’s doing her hair and her nails. That’s what I want. Oh, wow. That’s just
[00:22:16] Rayna Neises: We found the same thing with my dad. It was just the right people over and over again. And I often share, they weren’t always my favorite people, but they were definitely what he needed. I’m not necessarily the fun person. So dad and I were doing things. We were, raking the leaves and playing ping pong, but the people who could just chat about nothing, it was just what he needed, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t something I enjoyed doing and really wasn’t very good at it. So I loved how he brought the different personalities in and it really met all of the needs instead of when caregivers feel like they’re the only one who can take care of their loved one. That’s when burnout happens and it’s
[00:22:56] Tracy Crump: Oh, absolutely. Mm hmm.
[00:22:58] Rayna Neises: They need all these other people that have these different gifts and talents, and God is faithful to bring them.
[00:23:05] Tracy Crump: hmm.
[00:23:05] Rayna Neises: Sometimes it takes a little longer to pray them in than others, but you’re definitely always thankful whenever, you know, He brought that person to be a part of the team, and like you said, so much a part of the family.
[00:23:17] Tracy Crump: That’s right. That’s right. Mm
[00:23:19] Tonja Moon: That’s amazing. So amazing. Yeah. Okay. Well, I’m emotional. So, um, we have to change the subject. And, um, I want to talk about your soup, your favorite soup recipe, because we’ve been talking about soup. My grandmother made chicken and dumplings and, Rayna and I talked about that earlier and Rayna and Aunt Bertie made her Aunt Bertie’s famous noodles. And so tell us your favorite soup recipe.
[00:23:50] Tracy Crump: Well, of course, it’s chicken noodle soup. Mm hmm. And I’ll tell you the truth. Um, my favorite memory is of actually getting the recipe because it came from a close, close friend. At the time, I just wanted some more healthy recipes to use, and so she sent me several soup recipes, but she said that was her family’s favorite standby.
[00:24:10] She said that was always, always enjoyed. And the thing is that she had a neurological condition, and she actually passed away. I think she was 42 years old. Um, always knew that it was a possibility that that could happen. And she left five children. She was a homeschool mom, like I was at the time. And so that’s a sweet memory of me that she shared those recipes with me. And then I can, I can kind of remember her every time I make that.
[00:24:43] Tonja Moon: can I do my, all my makeup?
[00:24:46] Tracy Crump: We’re having a tear fest today. It’s okay. It’s okay.
[00:24:50] Tonja Moon: Okay. All right. So, okay. Tell us about the recipe. You don’t have to go through all of it, but what, what’s so special aside from the emotional part of it? Is there something that is an ingredient we would not expect? I’m not a cook, so I’m always very interested in how all this stuff comes together.
[00:25:08] Yeah.
[00:25:08] Tracy Crump: Well, it’s probably mostly what you expect, but I think what really makes it special, and my daughter in law agrees, she loves this soup, but is to use homemade chicken broth. And what I do is, is I boil up, you get the chicken breast with the skin and the bone still on, and boil those up, and then I, I put the chicken, I freeze the chicken, and use that for other recipes, but then I use the chicken broth to make the soup, I mean, it gives it a totally different flavor. You just, until you use homemade chicken broth, you don’t know how much you’re missing, you really,
[00:25:42] Tonja Moon: That is so true because yeah, just regular chicken broth is just so processed and full of so much sodium.
[00:25:48] Tracy Crump: it is an often MSG too, which is one of the things I was looking to cut out. So that, yeah, it really is, it is, it’s much better for you and much better tasting too.
[00:25:59] Tonja Moon: Isn’t that something? I would say I would make the shortcut and use the chicken broth in the box, but now I can’t
[00:26:06] Tracy Crump: easier.
[00:26:07] Tonja Moon: I’m going to remember your friend.
[00:26:09] Rayna Neises: We will definitely share Tracy’s Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe on our show notes page at grannystalkindementia. com. So make sure you don’t miss it there. We’ll also have it in our Facebook group. So make sure you join us on the Facebook group to share some of your favorite recipes. And if you have amazing stories about the people who shared them with you, we’d love to see those too.
[00:26:29] Tonja Moon: Absolutely. Granny’s talking dementia. Thanks y’all.
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[00:28:10] Rayna Neises: Welcome back, so Tanya, I have a question. Do you think your taste buds change as you age?
[00:28:16] Tonja Moon: Yeah. Yeah, I know, it’s not uncommon for our sense of taste to change or diminish with time. And it’s, it’s a lot of factors. As we age, the number of taste buds we have actually decreases. So this usually begins to occur about in our forties, if we’re female, or around the fifties for males.
[00:28:39] So, at the same time, our remaining taste buds also begin to shrink or atrophy, and they don’t function as well. So that results in decreased sensitivity to taste. typically affecting salty or sweet and eventually even sour or bitter foods. So around that same time, our sense of smell starts to decrease, which also continues to the loss of taste.
[00:29:06] And you know, I remember my grandmother in especially the later stages as her dementia progressed craving sugar. And that’s so common. It’s so common. And, and there were days all she ate was chocolate and we were fine with that because she was eating and because she wasn’t fighting everyone. We got to a point to where if that makes her happy, I mean, she literally would pucker her mouth and would not eat anything except something chocolate.
[00:29:41] And so we always get a bag of chocolate by her bed and we would go in and all the wrappers would be everywhere and everything, but I remember asking doctors, like whenever I, I got into hospice is like, why do people? What, why is that? And that’s how I learned just our senses obviously begin to change. I mean, we know with dementia that, um, atrophy affects the limbs, right? And vision and all that stuff. But yeah, so, taste buds definitely, definitely change. I mean, think about kids, they eat weird stuff and we grow up and we would never eat that, some of the candies that I’ve seen that kids eat, I’m like, Oh my that is awful. So yeah, they, they, they definitely change and that’s hard for families. Yeah.
[00:30:23] Rayna Neises: Yeah, it is because you make, something they’ve always loved and then they don’t like it. And for my dad, it was sad to me because the doctor encouraged us to have him go dairy and gluten free. Oh, girl, it was hard because I, I was like, man, he’s lived 85 years, he should get to eat whatever he wants, but it interfered with his digestion. It did cause him to be uncomfortable. And so we found some great substitutes and that’s what we did. Some of the favorites that he always loved, we just let him have it anyway. But I was so funny because a caregiver that helped take care of him said to me one time, she said, I know he wasn’t supposed to have ice cream, but we went and had ice cream and we just didn’t tell you it’s we had Rice Dream for him and he did enjoy that, but not as much as, regular favorite Sunday. So it is challenging because you want them to get the nutrition, like you said, but there is a point in which you reach that. You’re just like,
[00:31:20] Tonja Moon: Just have something.
[00:31:22] Rayna Neises: My dad was a good eater, so we really didn’t have a lot of trouble, but it was hard to try to find those substitutes that he liked.
[00:31:29] Tonja Moon: The Alzheimer’s Society has a lot of information specifically related to taste and how things change. There’s some great articles. In caregiving for a loved one with dementia that’s one of those things you got to roll with the punches because you can’t fix it. But I remember being fixated on, she cannot live on chocolate alone. Well, guess what? Yeah, she did. I never gained a pound, so maybe that is heaven. I don’t know, she, it. was, crazy, but it, it’s what she wanted and, it’s what she got and she was happier for it. And it didn’t make any sense to us.
[00:32:08] And you know what, Rayna, looking back, I wish we hadn’t have stressed so much about it, but we didn’t have this information. We didn’t know you would never just let your loved ones sit around and eat chocolate for days on end. And, we didn’t know any different. And so we argued about it and we tried to hide chocolate and we tried to substitute a million different things. And we always came back to the same thing. It’s definitely one of those things that I think back of, You know, if I knew now what I knew, what is it saying?
[00:32:35] Rayna Neises: If I knew then what I know
[00:32:36] Tonja Moon: yes, we wouldn’t have sweated the small stuff.
[00:32:39] Rayna Neises: Yeah. It’s hard to navigate. When do I give in and when do I keep trying? But I think you have to keep trying. And like you said, you’re trying different things. You just don’t need to sweat it. You give it a shot. And if it doesn’t work, then it’s like, Oh, well, that wasn’t successful. I’m moving on to another thing, eating is challenging. And I think for more reasons than we realize. So to think about the taste buds shrinking and the number of taste buds shrinking, that’s shocking. Honestly, I had no idea there was that big of a difference. But one other thing that a lot of people are not aware of is that the vision is significantly impacted with Alzheimer’s as well. And so the ability to even see the food becomes a factor. We lose our peripheral vision. And so when you think about your peripheral vision. being gone, then that means if they’re looking at you, they can’t see the plates.
[00:33:26] Tonja Moon: Right,
[00:33:27] Rayna Neises: They don’t even know that the glass is there. They might lose the fork. And so there was actually a research study found that Alzheimer’s patients eating from red plates consumed 25 percent more food than those eating from white plates.
[00:33:42] How shocking is
[00:33:43] Tonja Moon: That’s crazy.
[00:33:45] Rayna Neises: just changing up some of those kinds of things, making sure the silverware doesn’t blend into the food and that the food doesn’t blend into the plate. And I think actually getting them started another piece of dementia that people are not aware of is the ability to can is really that they don’t know what to do. And so making sure that they know how to get started. Oftentimes just getting that fork going or that 1st step bite in the mouth starts a process that just wakes up that part of the brain and allows them to So It’s really important to think about those things on our show notes page we’re going to link some of these articles just so that you can find more reading if you’re interested in that. So that’s dementia at www.GranniesTalkinDementia.com. Some other tips that I found that I at the Alzheimer’s Society, where it talked about improving their eating experience overall by just thinking about the environment so many times. Those small things really aren’t that small. We need to make sure it’s relaxing and it’s appealing. And we need to think about it overall. Is it You know, If we’re distracting them with um, as the disease progresses, their brain can’t multitask. And so if you’re asking them questions, was that good? Then they’re, they’re looking at you and trying to to think of what you just said and trying to find the words to answer it. So then they forget to go back and eat. So making sure that we really think about how comfortable they are much they’re they’re able to enjoy eating.
[00:35:11] We want to keep the table clutter free. Sensory impact is significant for those that are living with dementia. The more they have to see, the more they’re trying to figure out. So avoiding pattern items helps to avoid that confusion. Soothing music can be really helpful. Switching off things like the television, because there’s so much input with that can really make a big difference.
[00:35:36] And then again, just making sure that you’re leading them, helping them to know what they’re there for. And like you said, try not to worry about it. Don’t worry about the mess. Don’t worry about how much they ate. Just try to get as many options that they enjoy today in front of them. It’s important that they eat.
[00:35:55] They are washable, just like kids, right? So there’s nothing we can’t throw in the laundry and take care Um, and they, um, that they have certain times that they eat better, that we’re aware of that schedule. And we try to keep them into a schedule that works for them and not always just works for us. So, I hope those are some encouraging thoughts for and that can maybe be helpful in your process of trying to help keep that nutrition as much as possible person that you’re
[00:36:23] Tonja Moon: Yeah. Thanks.
[00:36:24] Rayna Neises: So Tanya, we always love to talk about the grand babies.
[00:36:27] tell us a little bit about the grand babies and how they can help with
[00:36:31] Tonja Moon: Yes, so our dementia therapy dolls, we call them grand babies, in honor of my Nanny, they’re very specific dolls and, they meet the regulatory requirements for skilled nursing communities, assisted living communities, memory care communities when it comes to infection control and when it comes to sanitation.
[00:36:51] It took us a year and a half to curate and find our dolls. People ask all the time, can we have, is it okay for mom to have her grandbaby, her doll at the table? And I just say, absolutely. My grandmother, there is no research behind this other than the fact that it is proven in research that people who had a dementia therapy doll actually had an improved appetite. We saw that with my grandmother. My grandmother did not like to go to the dining room once we moved her into a skilled nursing community. She didn’t like to go to the dining room because she didn’t like those people,
[00:37:29] which she was one
[00:37:30] of.
[00:37:31] Rayna Neises: she was one. Yeah, but she
[00:37:32] didn’t know
[00:37:32] Tonja Moon: those were old people And they were crazy, and she did not like them until she got her baby doll. And then everything became about showing off the baby. And so in a community, a senior care community, most of the socialization takes place in the dining room or in communal areas. And so it was Nanny, let. Everyone’s in the to see what the baby’s wearing today. And, oh, here she goes. She’s ready. And, uh, because it wasn’t about anything but showing baby. And so she gets there, the smell is, you know, sitting down to eat. And, um, it was a bite for her, a bite for baby. A bite for her, a bite for baby. Now, it was messy.
[00:38:12] Rayna Neises: Yeah.
[00:38:13] Tonja Moon: It was very messy and I remember for us as a family, that was hard to see her so messy and dirty because that was not her. I mean, you a new outfit for church every Sunday, hat, shoes, purse that matched, So to see her with the bib and, food on it, it was heartbreaking, but she was happy because she was eating and feeding her baby a bite. So the grandbaby projects dolls are, I can’t say they’re bulletproof. I always say somebody stuffs a cookie or cupcake in their mouth. It’s fine. They can be wiped down. They’re very, very soft, soft silicone. They’re not hard plastic, but they can still be sanitized with anything that you use to wipe down the surface. Their little mouths are very easy to clean. A warm water Clorox wipe and a Q tip will do it. And so sometimes just getting your loved one to the location to eat is half the battle
[00:39:16] Rayna Neises: Mm
[00:39:16] Tonja Moon: because, you know, if they’re in a community, they may not like to leave their room. They want to isolate. Babies definitely help with that. But specifically related to eating, Nanny’s dog got lots of chocolate, but she also went to the dining room.
[00:39:29] So we were, we were grateful for that
[00:39:32] And, and so we would tell her you have to eat to be strong enough to care for the baby. And so she was with her and it made sense to her. And so that’s just one of the therapeutic benefits of Dementia Doll Therapy.
[00:39:49] Rayna Neises: Yeah. I love that.
[00:39:51] I think it’s also neat because it’s come a long way, the different types of coverings that you can use, the the dignity of what you wear. I immediately, when you were talking about your grandmother being in a bib, I remembered my mom. We tied. T towel around her neck, and that’s what she always wore.
[00:40:08] Now, it didn’t seem to bother her, but with my dad, that did bother him, and so we didn’t bother to cover him. typically, he wasn’t that. messy of an eater, so we were to just, you messed up, because it isn’t always fun to have to change the shirt again, because that’s not always easy when you’re caring someone. But definitely there are some great options. And again, I’ll put some of those on our website just so that you can take a look at it. If you haven’t looked into that, there’s some really great looking options that you can drape your loved one with as they eat so that you can take that deep and, and be okay in the moment and then just take it And so that you don’t have to go through the whole process of cleaning them and the shirts and all that.
[00:40:47] Tonja Moon: and you know, what’s interesting is the language has changed too, right? And so with a loved one with dementia, We, don’t like to say diaper. we we say brief or I was in a senior care community recently and they don’t use the word bib. They use the word apron. And I thought, oh my gosh, amazing. Nanny didn’t want to bib, but she would have wanted an apron.
[00:41:12] Rayna Neises: April. Oh, yeah, for her, for sure, because she loves a good.
[00:41:15] Tonja Moon: Exactly. And so, All little tips, you know, they, they really add up to make things easier. I mean, if we could just get her to eat in the dining room, that was a win for the day. Those small wins kind of, they add up that’s where you’re going to find your grace in those moments. Right. It’s just, oh, thank God.
[00:41:33] So
[00:41:34] Rayna Neises: Definitely. And the honor and that we can we can give them is so important. And we have come a long way and realizing our language matters.
[00:41:43] Tonja Moon: absolutely.
[00:41:44] Rayna Neises: Listeners, I hope that you’ve enjoyed this episode, learning more about eating and all the challenges that can be involved with that. But at the same time, some great practical tips. We’re so thankful that you joined us
[00:41:55] Tonja Moon: Yes, and listen, like Granny, you know, Granny’s always praying for her children and grandchildren. So we want to leave you with a blessing at the end of each of our episodes. So like granny, we’re going to end on a blessing for you. Isaiah chapter 40 verse 1, Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God.
[00:42:13] May the Lord comfort you and your loved ones in every season of life, just as he promised us in Isaiah chapter 40 verse 1. May he renew your strength, uplift your spirits, and fill your hearts with peace. As you navigate the journey of dementia with grace and faith, remember you are not alone. The Lord is with you, providing comfort and guidance every step of the way. May his love and mercy surround you, bringing you solace to your soul and light to your path. Amen.
[00:42:44] Rayna Neises: Amen.